My blog

2011-04-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

Refracting Reflections

Hello.

This is a post from some one whom, you may, or may not, personally know. Why now, if you did not know who I am, would you be reading this? To what point do you come through here and decide that this is what you want to read? How did you find this? The first time. How did you find this?

Can you even remember?

Do you want to even try?

Society today has us so focused on the new, on the dazzling. Splendor is shoved in our faces, 'til we no longer see it, and the magnifience of the world and it's accompaniment is lost on our souls. Do you even know how to walk a path that is not made of gravel? Make cookies, and cakes, and dips, and meatloaf and other such things? From Scratch? Will you ever dare try? Pre-made. Pre-cooked. Pre-packaged. Pre-thought. Every action and reaction that you make is held and measured. Is it like the factory made things? No? Well no good then. It was only her first try? Well maybe she better stop, and just buy it like the rest. She wants to learn? Take a course, study some books. Actually talk to people with experience? The person you approach will be astonished. Astounded.

Think for yourself?

Prehaps the greatest sin of all from society's point of view.

Why do we conform?

Disappointment.

Fear of disappointment. Of whom? My brother posted a quote recently, I can't remember how it goes, but it's a good one. You should check it out.

2011-03-02T11:35:00.000-08:00

Here we go 'round the Prickly Pear, Prickly Pear, Prickly Pear...

What is your passion?

Why?

To be passionate about something, what must you be? What must you feel? The dictionary defines passionate as;

1. having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling.

2. easily aroused to or influenced by sexual desire; ardently sensual.

3. expressing, showing, or marked by intense or strong feeling; emotional: passionate language.

4. intense or vehement, as emotions or feelings: passionate grief.

5.easily moved to anger; quick-tempered; irascible.

I am only speaking of one of these meanings, so let us take a closer look.

Having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling.

Everyone has something, an activity, an object, an event that for them, symbolizes they're life. For the student it is school, for the parent, it is their child(ren).\

But are you I passionate about what you allow to symbolize your life? Every time someone mentions the label, do you feel overcome with any sense of emotion? Anger, hatred, happiness, joy? Contempt, contentment?

Do we know how? Do you know how? To allow your emotions free reign willingly to be able to feel. Freely. Can you? Do we, as a society know how to be, passionate? To feel intense emotions to the things that we see and know.

BUT!

Ah... it's so much easier though to hold them. To use all restraint. To smile, no matter what. To float through life, never caring about what is going on. Because caring means feeling some sort of emotion. And emotions are not truly, at their base, controllable. So we don't. Care. We block ourselves off so much and so many times that we forget.

How to feel.

Deeply, how to feel deeply.

Do you know how to feel passionate. What it is to be? In that moment, with everything we have to feel so that nothing of which we know of ourselves is left out of the equation? The easiest to know it grief.

Why? Why is it bad to feel? Feeling is connected to thinking you see. If you do not care, you will not think upon it.

It will go by unnoticed. Unmarked.

Why? Why did it get this way? Why is it "bad" to become emotional?

I want to live. Life. Anyone who has done anything worth knowing about was passionate about what they were doing. I want to know what I am doing, and know what I am doing is good, not because it is 'good' in itself, but because I have given everything I am to doing it.

That I think is a better definition of passionate. For life.

2011-01-09T17:55:00.000-08:00

I Started Writing Three Other Posts, But They Didn't Make the Cut

So I know I'm a bit late, but I figure it's ok because you see, the holiday season is very busy. It gets worse with sickness. But enough about that. I have decided a chosen what my resolutions are for the year.

I know.

I already said I was late. I told you already. I still found the time to think about it though if you think about it. That has to count for something.

My Resolutions.

#1. My first and foremost one would have to deal with my dog. I haven't taken care of her like I should have these last few weeks. All excuses aside. It hasn't happened. But she still greets me the same, and still is so willing to do what I ask. She's still willing to try.

So I vow to try harder. I really want to find something to do with her again. We did agility, we did aggression courses. Now... We can't go back to agility. And I've hit a dead wall when it comes to other dogs. So perhaps we'll go for that? Or formal obedience? Rally-O? Tracking?

I'll find something. And make it fit, and work. And work well.

#2. Some of you are surprised this is only second. Well, let me explain it like this. Living beats out non-living things. Hands down. This resolution in German. To finish the German 10 Course or to gain competency from some other forum. Short and sweet. Wish it was in practice too.

#3. I'm attempting the read 100 books in a year challenge. Or alternatively, read less on the internet and more in real life.

#4. To step up and try harder to work, well, willing at my job. Even if it's not where I want to be at. Chin up and good attitude and all that jazz.

#5. To reconnect. I might know you, but I still just see you on the street, and thus don't know you. Who you are. Where you are going. What makes you, you.

These last few aren't resolutions. More like goals to get done, sometime. On the horizon. If they stay there long enough they may become resolutions next year. Perhaps. Perhaps not. Most should be done anyways. 1) Get my N, 2) Finish my quilt, 3) Make it through my Bible, and 4) Finish the knitting.

Last year's resolution was to attempt to get back into shape. As you can see it's an ongoing thing. It's not so much a resolution now though, as it is a part of my life.

What are your resolutions/goals for the New Year?

2010-12-09T18:17:00.001-08:00

Of Comrades laying down Arms

Hello.

It's been a while.

Things have happened. Many of which I intended to post here.

As you can see, that only remained an intent.

Let's think.

What is going on in Pony's life at the moment?

She is still looking for another job. The requirements? Preferably one with dogs. Has to pay at least 10/hour. Can not include heavy lifting. Preferably does not include me getting soaked at the end of the day. Or really strange hours.

The heavy lifting at work right now has been getting to me. I buggered my shoulder on Tuesday due to a box. Had made the muscles so tight on the other one, that the Chiropractor says they're almost gluing themselves together. It's hard to become comfortable like that. It's partly an Ab issue though. My Abs are really weak. They've been getting better (thank you Aikido), but still have quite the way to go before I have full use of them to stablize myself. And a box.

This leads to Aikido! For those of you who don't know, I no longer go to the gym. Why? It was good, but too physically demanding, especially with a job like mine. Also, I needed to change other things (like eating habits...) to be able to continue going and some of them are out of my control (like getting a different job...). The time it took me to recover eventually got longer and longer and longer, to the point where I'd make it, maybe once a week if I was lucky. Twice if I was pushing it. With Aikido, you still get the workout, and the slowing building of muscle (without the crash so far!), but also, you get taught to move.

The Sensei sometimes jokes that other martial arts called Aikido a fake martial art, because it's so fluid. When done right, it's like dancing. I like dancing. It gets even better, in most of the moves, there's what you'll understand to be a lead and a follow. They're jobs are to co-operate, so that A) no one gets hurt, and B) so it looks good. Just like some dance moves. As a bonus, you're also learning about to dodge and disable attackers. While looking good. (As an extra bonus, the people there are amazing!)

There is no nice, slightly jaring transition from that last paragraph to this one. I guess I'll have to introduce it, itself. I have a dog. I had a very sick dog. So we'll go look at Sunday. In the morning Milly goes out, comes back and throws up. Not the even of the world, she probably just moved the baby gate (She took a week, to figure that out, as she pitied me, otherwise I'm sure it've been faster) and ate something that she wasn't supposed to. It happens on occasion. Mostly comes out as diarrhea. Annoying. So later I have a nap, and consequently I am up fairly late (for me). 11:30 strikes. Milly throws up again. And again. And again. And this goes on for the next two hours. Seven times. If someone you knew did that what would you be doing? I give *one* piece of kibble, she throws that up ten minutes later, with the rest of what was conveniently available in the top of her stomach. If it were a person, you would've gone to the hospital. There is a 24 hour Vet. It's in Victoria. By Mayfair. It costs an arm and a leg. And if you actually need medication for your dog right away? A kidney too please. So for the next couple of days, I get very scared. She was fine the rest of Monday (I didn't dare feed her much at all), threw up Tuesday again (curse work!), but has been fine ever since. She back on her feed, as enthusiastically as ever, and has been bugging me again. She's an attention suck. So I think maybe we're going to be ok now. Maybe. If I am very careful. The really scary thing? I've got no inclination of what *might* have set this off. The diarrhea? Oh, looks, that's gone out of the garbage... But this time?

I feel sorry. It seems as if every time I write it's to rant. I do have these rants in my head you know. Most of the time I forget about them. Cause it's already been ranted. Why stir up the dead's earth? I don't know where I was going with this.

There is a really cool guy in Sidney. He owns a store. He is Mexican? Spanish? He speaks with a slight accent, and is Hispanic anyway. If you can tell me who he is, I'll give you a cookie when I make them for work. Whoops! Gotta go look up that recipe.

This post has been cut short due to unforeseen circumstances that take the writer away from the post. We are sorry for the inconvenience.

(Recipe and Dinnertime!)

2010-10-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

This is a Tangent

Hello.

This is a breathing break.

Because I need to breathe.

Really everyone does to survive.

This break is just to appreciate the ability to breathe.

That feels so much better.

So, today at work I managed to get potato dust up my nose. Multiple times. Annoying yes. Not the worse thing to happen though. We have people who come in to do shopping for other people, who use the internet to order things from us. Tuesday is one of the days these order get filled at my store. The people who fill the order are called the Sendile ladies. They are volunteers. They are the same people who come in every single week. Plus their own shopping. Now really, do you think I am most patient with these people? You don't know where *this*-(rather obvious part of produce) is? And they wonder why we snap at them... Especially getting asked five questions in a row, just as it's starting to get busy. I *do* have a job. Unlike you. Didn't happen today, but has happened sooooooo many times it's hard not to get frustrated with them right off the bat. There's two really competent ladies though. Who actually have brains. And think. I like them, they're welcome to come anytime.

End rant.

Breathe.

I thought I might be getting sick again, so I cracked out the Vitamin C. And *poof* all cold symptoms gone, except for the itchness in my nose. Which I still blame on potato dust. Nobody had gone through them in a while= lots a bad ones, and alot of settled dust to disturb.

Breathe.

Now on to what this post is acutally about! Wouldn't you like to know?

Milly is very pretty. I adore my dog. -Note to self, need to get more bones-. -And brush the dog sometime this week-. I was thinking, even with all her problems, we really click. And I'm gonna miss her. And...

That's not what this post is about.

Breathe.

I am going in for my N on Friday at 2:45pm. I phoned yesterday. They scared the coherent thoughts out of me by asking if I wanted to go in tomorrow. (...Huh?...What! So soooon! Not READY!....ohsh...) So best of luck to me, eh?

Also not what this post is about.

I'm done quite a few things since actually posting a proper post last. That might be why I haven't posted a proper post... to much to talk about. I need to get my sister a birthday present, and Christmas presents. Huh. Right. Forgot about that. Finished some books it took me *months* to get through, a knitting project... Wish there was good news about German, but alas... However most of Chp3 of said story a couple of posts ago is almost done. The chapter that just got posted? Months to write and fine tune. Chp 3? -Five hours- It took *Five Hours* to get through three quaters of this chapter. It's *not* Fair!

Breathe.

Have you guessed yet? Also not what it's about.

Mother was ill. She went to hospitial, and could hardly get out of bed for a week. It was scary. I was there when she go really sick. Hospitials are really boring. I might've hurt something if I didn't have my book. She's mostly (hopefully) better now. Though some stuff was bothering her before too.

Melodrama.

Breathe.

The whole topic of my post?

*DRUM ROLL*

I am now a certified Produce Supervisor. Which sounds alot better than, say, Produce Clerk. It comes with an auto pay-raise. Yay me! Anyways cheerful thoughts and best wishes, and other such things. No funnies for you. My feet hurt. Too much standing. Back on topic. I wasn't on interwebs much besides writting this out for you.

Because judging from the overwhelming comments, you must miss me.

2010-10-14T15:31:00.000-07:00

Funnies for the day

"(debating who's cookie it is, it's the *last* cookie) ...this tasty morsel is mine." He emphasized his remark by sticking out his tongue and slowly licking the back of the cookie.

**** watched the cookie-licking in shock. "I can't believe you did that! My baby brother used to do that! How old are you? Three?"

***** positively reveled in ****'s horror. "It's the way that goblins mark their territory. Though, it tends to get hazardous when the object that they are marking is particularly sharp or on fire."

On costume choices:

"Is that child dressed as a pineapple?"

"Why yes, I believe he is..."

2010-09-30T15:26:00.000-07:00

Capala Shurin: Chapter Two

This is the final copy of this chapter, it stills needs little things done, like formalizing the now and then grammar that's mixed up through it. It's supposed to be now. But somehow changed itself. The story plotline, and otherwise how it's told, minus grammar issues, is how it's going to stay.

Desolation. One figure left. Tremors wrack the body. Movement.

Foot.

A wry smile. Exit stage left. The body retrieves the discarded pack. Hidden outside of the battle. Away from the desolation. A mile. Body collapses.

~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~

The weather slowly becomes cooler now as the sun ends it’s marathon days. Only half the trees in the area have begun to change colors. Those gifted enough to be in the woods could gaze at the awe-inspiring, picturesque woods. The woods held an appeal that could not be captured in any painting. Perhaps it was the way that the wind moved the branches so that the leaves could boast loudly of their changing colors as the sun reflected off the leaves brightly.

The little girl could stand for hours and stare at the leaves of the trees as they changed their colors in honor of the Fall. She had grown with the speed that all toddlers do. She was now tall enough that her head came above the women’s knee. The frown that the girl had used to continuously wear had, at first faded, then vanished. The women too began to frown less as she became accustomed to the sounds of the forest. When they had first arrived the women had jumped at any loud sound. Now the women only startled at sounds that did not appear to belong in the forest. When startled, if in the clearing, the women would grab the child and hide in the bush.

As Autumn began to gain a hold on nature the animals once again began to prepare for winter. The frolicking that had been done in spring now led to heavily pregnant females and over protective males. Animals that hibernated were nearly done collecting food for Winter; the noises in the forest were beginning to change. The women became more and more suspicious as the forest became quieter. Again she would jump at any unusual, or loud sounds.

While the women primarily took note of the animals, the girl continued her study of the trees; fascinated. The trees that had captured her attention most were the ones that at the height of summer had purple leaves. As the trees prepared to shed their leaves or the long sleep of winter, the leaves would change color. The trees with the purple leaves would create the most amazing combination of colors. Purple would turn to black, edged with brilliant red. Oranges and yellows in various shades and combinations with the other colors would make an appearance, creating miniature, temporary portraits of the spirit of the Autumn.

Under the tees whose leaves did turn, and those that kept their leaves was movement. The movement was different from the animals who lived in the area. The sounds that accompanied the movement would have sent the women for the deepest part of the under bush. The sound came:

Tramp.

This is the sound of boots heavily hitting the forest floor. These boots were filled with men. These men were covered in army green; the color of those who do not care if they blend in. Hands shift as men signal. A man passes under one of the girl’s beloved purple leaved trees. He has a limp from walking to long without prolonged rest. Emphasis is put on the lack of rest as you look at the man next to the one under the tree. This is a man whose only distinguishing feature is sunken and shadowed eyes.

The man with the limp led the way, breaking from the cover of trees to cross a small meadow that had trees growing in it sporadically. The man with sunken eyes followed ten feet behind and to the limped man’s right. To the leading man’s left was another man. This man sometimes came even with the limping man, but frequently fell behind. His tiredness was characterized by short burst of excessive energy. The last man stood behind the leading man to the right of the man who so often lagged behind. He moved so lethargically that it was a wonder that he kept up with the other men at all. From an ariel view, the men made a deformed square.

As the men walked they grumbled. Snatches of their conversation could be heard. Pieced together it told a tale of their appointed leader abusing his rights and leaving early, forcing the rest of the men to move faster to take his slack. The leader of the squad also held a different rank. He was also the appointed representative of three other squads. The four squads together formed a troop of twenty men. Each troop leader represented their soldiers in the Band Council. The Council’s main objective was to advise the higher ranking officers on how to use each squad to full capacity, what the squad was specialized in. They also oversaw the care and maintenance of their soldiers. The council was made up of many different officers with varying ranks. The total number of the Council was five hundred. When not in session the members held regular duties as according to their rank.

The man who had raised his arm to put his hand in his pocket. Withdrawing the hand a piece of paper followed. The paper was straightened to reveal a map. On the map was marked a spiral. Each piece of the spiral searched had been marked off into a grid. The spiral covered an immense amount of land. A full regiment had been assigned to the search. A regiment contained ten thousand men, composed of ten companies, which breaks down to ten divisions, made up of five troops. There are five hundred troops to a regiment.

The beginning of the spiral was marked in the middle of the woods, six days away from the nearest town, as the crow flies, but an eight day journey on horse back. This town as the trading capital of the region, it was newly built, due to the Lord of the area’s command. To build the town, and other ambitious projects, the area was under a forced change, homesteads were burned and torn down, and good farm land lay in ruins with the travel of building supplies over the shortest route possible, old roads and been made obsolete, as new roads were developed, directing buying customers away from previously well off businesses. It one had been a months hard ride on a kept road to the old town in the north. A new road had been built spanning the river. The Lord continued pushing forward with his projects, even though the people of the area were largely against it. In the new town they brought in modern convinces that the old town did not have room for inside it’s walls. When the people continued to stand against the new projects, sometimes taking shape in mild sabotage, their homes and fields were scorched to the ground, and livelihoods ruined. This action displaced many of the people in the north, the ones that had not been made examples of. The town of the North now became known as the dying town, all roads into it except for one leading south to the new town, fell into heavy disrepair.

The new town was built much like a fortress, near the mountains. A five day ride from the new town the road split. A crossroad was formed by a third road. One lead southeast, toward the new town, one southwest to the plains, and one north over the bridge spanning the river. The road over the bridge slowly bent east, then more north west, before straightening out and heading almost due north. From the crossroads it was almost another five day journey on horse back to Old Town.

Once across the bridge, the limping man lead his soldiers west to search the forest, while others went east, and others still searching the river its self, and the lake that the river pooled into in the east, past the bridge. Other soldiers had joined them to look, but then had moved off in different directions. They had been searching the forest for all of ten days before their right leader abused his privilege and left. Thirteen days after that they continued their duty. They were slow due to missing a body and the thick forest that they were unused to.

After putting in a fifteen hour search they all would meet at the end of the day to make camp. All the soldiers had become very superstitious after searching so much forest. Before meeting together again at night, other troops had lost soldiers, some who had injured themselves and could not find their way back again nor were near enough to call for help, dying of exposure before the others realized they were not keeping pace. The one funding the search had been displeased with this behavior, as it cost more time, but the solider’s superiors were unable to break them of this habit.

Wrestling with the paper so that it remained flat the man with the limp pointed at the map and gestured to the men where to go. After confirming directions he pointed out where they would meet at the end of the day. The time set to meet at the site was one hour before sunset. The men then went off to search their part of the grid as they saw best.

Before Dawn broke the next morning the men were up, and they had broken camp. At the break off dawn the men had entered the new grid and again split up to search. The man with the limp moved east through the overgrowth, moving with the ease of training that they all had received to cope with traveling through the untamed land.

The solider then turns north and begins searching his own part of the grid. The further north the man turns the more difficult it is to continue. Entire trees had been consumed by brambles, making land mines in an already dangerous area. You could never tell where pushing through blindly would gain a few feet or find a tree, and quickly arrest any progress.

The next day all the men had grouped together to try and find a way through. This is what they would have used the fifth solider for. He would have helped search for a way through the day before while the rest were searching, and they would have been able to simply continue. Instead they were stuck searching and falling even further behind the schedule.

After a day and a half of all of them looking, a way through is found. Deep breaths, sighs, stretches and other ways to relax muscles are preformed. The soldiers look to where they've come. Muscles again tighten, along with tight mouths, lips pressed together. A single strip of land runs in a relatively straight line between two near solid walls formed by vegetation, the strip turning some twenty feet left and near hundred feet right. Tall grass up to the men’s waist grows in the strip of land. Tree limbs cross at odd angles, dripping with ivy.

The soldiers hastily push forward across the grass, tripping over the uneven land. The soldiers wildly turn their heads, bodies acting as if without thought as they scrutinized the new wall of trees, brambles and vines. Quick, jerky movements become characteristic of the soldiers. Eyes wide, the skin around them tight, Jaws clenched, with lips relaxed, muscles twitching. Frantically they dodge obstacles of limbs and broom, ripping from the captors of bramble weeds, and shying from stinging nettle. The rush continued until the men broke their way through the traps Mother Nature had so carelessly strewn.

In a short passage of time you could no longer count the men's heart beats by looking at the pulse o their necks. Their movements too had become again more fluid and controlled. Again the men separated to continue to search the grid. All attempts to move faster were wallowed by overwhelming weariness. The forest on this side of the break was filled with much more undergrowth, but nearly no tree limbs were near the ground. The men separated again to finish searching out the last of this grid

Almost finished, and turning tower the meting point of the other soldiers, the limped man chanced upon a variation o the undergrowth. Parts of the ground were visible, and the undergrowth wasn't as nearly as thick over this oddity. The solider had found a path.

2010-08-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

(Insert Title Here)

So a friend of mine has a cool way of updating her blog. She puts it in sections for ease of reading. We're going to try that today.

Dog
Recently Milly and I were in my backyard messing around, and lo and behold, someone had decided to use our backyard as a trash can. Again. Milly had found a rib bone. This could be bad, cause she hates it when I try to get things out of her mouth. However, I had started counteracting that by training her that whatever good eating thing I took away from her I would give her something even better back. So I auto ask for the bone, and she gave it to me! Didn't run, didn't do the chase me game, off-leash from three feet away (I would never have caught her if she had choosen to run) she came to me and gave me the bone. *Stunned silence*

We are also working on a new trick, while brushing up on our old ones. And if you walk past my backyard you'll notice the agility stuff is back out. After 8 months to get over the dog running out of the ring I'm back into it. Milly is too, she loves it! Ah... if only we had more room and equipement... stupid stuff costs waaaaaaaaaay too much.

On a different note. I met the dogs today that a lady wants me to dog sit for two months while she finalizes stuff for her trail in Australia. There's Mr. Stubborn-pushy, who's never had follow through on the leash ever, Mrs. Demanding-intellegent-will work for you, and Mrs. Pushy. The Mr. is over two hundred pounds... Gah! Why were you so stupid when he was a pup?!? Mrs. Pushy is twice her approperiate weight. Seriously, with your neck injury, you can't even care for them properly. I know you love them, but love doesn't do all that needs to be done. *SIGHS*

Cleaning

I have started packing up my things now. It's kinda sad. But it'll be exciting. An adventure.

Flute

I was supposed to have my first lesson last Thrusday. Was. The stupid lady "didn't check the store email because she wasn't at the store". However it's the only listed email to contact them. Twit. So they gave my time to someone else. We reschedualed for tomorrow. Right, I should practice...

German

Has come to a standstill. I do not know how to conjugate verbs from singular to plural, and why are we throwing in different kinds of conjugation and not explaining how to tell the difference?
I am frustrated. You think they'd give you everything you needed to figure it out, but noooooooooooooooooooooo.

Books

Still reading Oscar Wilde, it would help if I didn't keep forgetting about him. Then maybe I'd get through him faster...

Almost done Unfinished tales. It's worth reading, though if you buy it, you don't need to get The Children of Hurin (it has the funny hat thing in there, but I can't type that). In other news, I found The History of Middle Earth in the book depository. In three volumes. I do have most of it, just not the last three volumes. I want the copy... but I'd still keep mine for ease of reading. *NEED MONIES*

Driving

I have decided that I want a truck. Not a big truck, but a truck like Laura used to have, Angus, with a canopy. I also need to go get my N. If you see such a truck give me a shout. However, I am also looking for a row of seats behind the drivers, like Micheal Cronks old truck. This is mandatory. I do not want a big truck like Addy's mom.

Byri go study for your L.

Work

I have gotten a raise! Nearly a year overdue! Retro check due this week. Haha. Taxes better not kill it, it's going to be my truck buying fund.

Also, I might be getting a promotion. This means another raise! Yays!

Projects

I am almost done the thing that will be The Wedding Gift. Have started Arm Warmers. Has three inchs done. Yay!

Hey Byri, it looks like it's 186 for 8 half an hour lessons for two people. And go phone Alexis about a horse.

Heh. Oh! Story update, it's kinda getting worked on. Will be instead of German, cause I actually can't go forward in that right now. I don't know how.

Laura, phone me when you are free. We need to hang out.

See you around!

2010-08-27T12:52:00.000-07:00

If I were an otter would beavers like me?

This is one of the songs from camp. Yes I know, I've heard it outside of camp too... but really? In my mind it will always be from camp.

He is jealous for me,
(this means he's willing to fight for me- to pursue)

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath his wind and mercy.
(hurricanes are violent forces of destruction, love like a hurricane though, he loves us with a violent force that cannot be stopped by anything; trees have no defence agaisnt hurricanes, all that they can do is try to stand and endure)

When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
(so all of the junk that's weighting you down drops, you feel light and free- it's an amazing feeling, nothing really matters about the weight, it's dead stuff, you don't need it and aren't concetrating on it)

And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
(so think, if you know something *might* hurt you are leery of it, if you know it will hurt- you avoid, if you know something will hurt alot- you avoid and pretend that it doesn't exist; if you needed to protect a friend though, maybe you'd jump in front and take the hurt, but he jump in front and took all the hurt while we spat and laughed and mocked)

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us all,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Chorus 1:
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
(the first part I think is a reference to inheritance, the second, well, you know how people enter contests to meet singers and such, he's such a amazing person that he is worth being the person to meet at the end of a contest)

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
(it's not going to hurt, no I told you so, you'd come back begging to be let in, none of it's there, do you know what grace means?)

If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
(grace is getting something good that we don't deserve, instead of getting bad things to match our bad behavior, it's getting something good- we're all drowning in good things, sent by someone who should be cursing us back)

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
(best line in a Christian song ever, if something is sloppy, it's rushed, wet kisses are still held as intimate in todays world, heaven is rushing to be intimate with earth, friends are intimate, someone who knows you're thoughts, knows what you might do next, knows how you'll take certain comments, your moods, what you like and don't like; heaven rushes for this)

And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain this regrets,
(you notice how earth still is hesitating? looking at the baggage dropped and going, but I carried that, I can't... but heaven's rushing so fast that the I can'ts don't even have time to form, that's how fast it comes)

When I think about, the way…

So I was at church last Sunday. I was looking at the songs that we were singing, and analyzing them as we went along. I found two out of five songs that I didn't cringe at, or only cringed a little. How sad is that? People now look at things, go through the motion of moving their lips, but don't think. I do to. In a theological context some of it didn't even make sense. I couldn't sing the lines, because what was on the screen was out of the box of what is Christianity. Mind you, God doesn't like boxes, tends to burn them when he's put in them, but of the things I know, they didn't make sense. And nobody else seemed to have a problem with this.

Why?

One of the reasons I miss camp already is that the songs we sang there, I could analyze (it's were I remembered my brain can do things like that) the songs, and still agree with them.

Especially when the song makes a reference to sloppy wet kisses.

2010-08-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

Word of the Day

Tarantism: An uncontrollable urge to dance.

Why doesn't your foot rotate out to the side more? I mean it'll move so it's perpendicular to the ground on the inside, but not on the outside. Does anyone else feel this is weird? Why does the human body work this way?

I had a very good week. You should meet me in person and ask about it.

I'll miss those that I continuously confused for a different person...

2010-08-14T12:02:00.000-07:00

Of the Hobbit continuing to prove It's worth

Yesterday was Friday the 13th for those that don't know, or didn't bother to remember or to figure it out. I worked yesterday. 9:30 to 6.

Many good things did happen yesterday. I read nearly 100 more pages of my current book. I had fun. I went back to my martial art and don't feel sore at all today. (For how hard we worked it's a very good thing.) I managed to walk my dog.

Bad things also happened. The day before a co-worker hurt himself badly enough he'll mess up his life pretty bad if he's working for the next little while. That meant we were short staffed. Another co-worker called in sick, a mere two hours before his shift. That left us scrambling to find someone to take his place. Friday nights are one the busiest days of the week for us. It's near impossible to only have one person close and still have the store look good. So, yes I did have some fun while at work, but I was also working under stress. The supervisior that I had yesterday can't supervise.

At all.

I saw things that he didn't bother to address and did my best to address them. Though it's hard to do when you ask someone else to do it, and they don't and you don't really have time to breathe, let alone think more, and they don't do it. Gah. Newbies. Listen to me as I try to train you.

I also managed to injure myself, not once, but twice yesterday. Once at work, one not. I slice the fleshy part of my right pointer finger before the first knuckle deeply. Worst cut I've given myself there ever. Worst injury for those curious was a burn over two years ago.

Ya.

Thats how long I've been working there. Common, everyone *sigh* with me.

Second injury. Not as big or as bad at surface level. I was kneeling down trying to manipulate my dog on concrete, and she was protesting. Enough that she dragged me a bit. So I took off some skin on my knee, big whoop. But there where bigger rocks too! So it's a little deeper than I'd like in some places. Still not the end of the world. Till I wake up this morning, and the wound is filled with dog hair. How exactly did I forget about that? Getting it all out was fun, and here's to hoping that I don't get an infection.

Cheers!

2010-08-09T22:10:00.001-07:00

Outtakes

So today I did many things well known to me, and tried something new. I also got other people to try new things.

"You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing."

Your brain stills and stagnates when you stick to the tried and true, to the familiar. The unknown holds risks. Risks that at one point in time would overwhelm me. Interacting with another person that I already did not have a founation- did not already have a good relationship with- would terrorify me. Sometimes it stills does. This is called a comfort zone. Some will recgonize what I am talking about. To others this will be a new concept. Over the years I have pushed this. Times when I am tired and stressed I will fall back on old patterns, as humans will. No contact with anyone is safe. It has been proven safe many times over. If you don't reach out then nobody can hurt you.

Part of pushing those boundries has been allowing people to be let in. This was a long and drawn out process in my humble opinion. Trying new things, learning to think in new ways, that do not feel offensive to me, and trusting those who introduce those new ideas to not attack who I am based on what I believe have been steps. Steps in growth.

I guess that's really what this rant is about. Growing. Figuring out things you want from life, heck even identifying with virtues, and then living life in pursuit of those. Always progressing. This doesn't necessarily mean trying something new every few months and then abandoning it to the wayside. It means every couple months stepping back and taking a look at what you're doing, where you want to go, if it's changed, and coming back with a fresh look.

This means read a challenging book. Whatever this means to you, there are many different kinds of challenges out there. Try to do what you can with who you are.

Never wish you were more than you are.

Work towards the ideal you. There's a psychology theory that the further you are from the ideal you the more out of balance you are with yourself. How can you be in tune and happy with yourself when you look at a reflection that is so different from yourself?

"When a man is put in the ground, it is not then that he has died, he is dead when he no longer hopes, no longer dreams."

This means putting goals in front of yourself. Of not doing the same thing just because that's what you did yesterday.

Of not being statisfied with life. Of looking for more without becoming upset that things aren't progressing fast enough, without wishing you *were* someone else entirely.

Tonight for the first time I tried to do a martial art. It was the most fun I've had in a long time.

What does that say about what I've been doing with life? When did I let what I want to do to improve myself and who I am turn into drugery? How can I turn it back?

I didn't mean to. I want what I'm doing now. I want to be better at what I am doing now. I am working toward being better at what I am doing than I am.

I am satisfied with trying.

There are times when I berate myself for not trying harder. I don't want my life to turn into activities to checked off on a list.

Must take care of dog.

Must go to work.

Must work on German.

Must play flute.

Must hang out with friends.

I don't want these things to become check lists. I want to bring back the life, a fresh breathe, a renovated way of thinking. Not a new one, as nothing was wrong with the old one, it simply faded as outside influences came and weathered the once solid thoughts and ideals. Head back to the beginning. The foundation. What makes you you. Why do you choose to do what you do? What side reason have crept in that make it seem like a duty that simply must be done or an axe will be brought down?

How do you make life fun again? How do you remember to laugh and smile simply for the sake of laughing and smiling?

Brakes. I think I've let myself speed up too much. Stopping. Take your time to think. Breathe. Just stand there and breathe. Watch the busy and search for the still.

Take time to breathe.

2010-08-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

A Laying Down of Flowers

A nearly unheard whisper of skin. Clothe meets and flutters in the passing wind dancing along with movement.

Gray smooth corridors had risen to meet the whispers. Dim, yellow, sputtering lights had attempted to follow the dance of the clothe. Smooth walls reflect and refract the distorted image, once passed the dirty, dark, gray walls stand silent again.

Bleach attempted to mask too many horrible smells all coming from different sources. A windowless, doorless corridor is greeted with the whispering feet.

The clothe ceases its fluttering. The whispers stop. A soft thump, followed by a reluctant creak and then-

A head thrown back in greeting.

Light, pure white light.

------------------------------

I was just thinking one day, and something very, very similar to this came into my head. And when I tried to capture it, it morphed into this. Not exactly what I was going for.

I'll tell you what is happening from my persective if you wish. But I'm not posting it right now cause I want you to think. I thought this up while zoning at work.

I really want Feedback. Did you like? Not like? Confused? Trying to figure it out? (I don't think it's that hard, but omipresent perspective gets you nowhere here)

2010-07-15T21:43:00.001-07:00

Thrown from the 'Coaster for the lack of a Belt

I've been thinking that I should post something here. And then the ridiculous work days they ask me to work will catch up to me, and I'll go to sleep instead. Today you are lucky, and I have some reserve left. So you get something of an update I think.

I decided that I hadn't read enough fluff titles recently (aka. Oscar Wilde and middle-esque english King Authur and His Knights) so I have a quick fluff book from a friend. It's helped, I acutally still can go through a book in a day and a half! They just can't be accedemically acceptable books. Like you couldn't reference this on a biblography sort of thing. By the way, Sir Lancelot is NO longer my favorite knight. He's well... not excatly who I'd thought he'd be. Sir Galahad (Sir Lancelot's illegitmate son, cause you know he was only trying to sleep with the Queen and got tricked with this other girl) has definately taken the position of favorite Knight of the round table.

The reason for wanting to read this paticular book through? (Once you get used to the writing style {and the fact that most of it is borrowed from French fables... that were, um weirder if the introduction is to be believed} it's really quite engaging) It would be 'A Perfect Gentle Knight' by Kit Pearson. Now anyone who knows Pearson will regconize her as the one to write 'Awake and Dreaming' which is set in downtown Victoria. Sweet, I know. She mostly writes young adult/preteen stuff. That said, it's high quality writing, the plot and such are the things mostly um, held back? How would you say it? Gah.

Anyway, the book in question borrows it's title from Chaucer's 'Canterbury Tales' from the introduction when the knight is introduced. You can easily find it. The copy I have reads it as, "He was a verray, parfit, gentil knight." Commonly now known as, "He was a very, perfect, gentil knight." Anyways, they make reference to King Auther and the assorted tales. This does include 'Le Morte Darthur'. I haven't quiet gotten there yet though.

The whole thing is incredably interesting to me. That's all.

On an unrelated note (sortof), here is the first chapter of the cleaned up copy of the book I am writing. Well, attempting to write.

Attempting.

It got put off to the side once I started working more, while I was striving to find balance in life again. I'm getting there so I'm thinking about it again. I have up to Chapter Three roughly outlined, and know generally what will happen, unless the characters decided that they know better than I do what should be done, up to Chapter 5 or 6. The girl is interesting. I'm having trouble getting into her head later. So, we'll see.

Let me know what you think! I haven't written in years, but I've gotten good responses so far. Grammer errors or any questions are more than welcome. The story is going to be named "Capla Shurin". For no other reason than I liked what it sounded like at the time, and named the story thus.

Chapter One (Unnamed Title, RE: Up for grabs if you think of a good title before I do.)

.~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~

Fingers Tremble. An outstrectched hand struggles to rise. Trembles work their way up and down the arm. Muscles seize. The body wavers. A fight ensues agaisnt gravity. The hand struggles to continue. The hand drops an inch. Sheer will holds the hand up despite the trembling. The trembling becomes limited. The hand has reached it's apppointed height. Posture is streaightened. the other arm moves quickly mirroring the first. The sleeve is still intact on this arm. It is dry; it had not been dyed.

.~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~

There had once been a clearing. It was a lovely place to go to in the late spring and during the summer. Too early in the spring and ground was so soft that you could sink your lower leg half way into the mud. Before that the ground was cold, hard and harsh from the throes of winter. In the late spring the ground lost enough of its moister that it could be crossed without sinking into the mud, but retained enough moister that unlike the ground in winter it would cushion walking.

This clearing was surrounded by trees. In a hollow on the edge of the clearing an ancient weeping willow could be found. It was now dying, as it was losing the competition with the tall trees for rescources. The trees surrounding the clearing were tall and straight. Various kinds of evergreens with branches full of needles so thick that harldy any underbush could survive for lack of sunlight. The lack of underbush made it very easy to walk, even though there was not much light.

On the other side of the clearing it was not the trees that dominated, but the underbush that held sway over the ground. This was not for lack of effort on the trees part. Saplings struggled in fierce competition with the bush. Prehaps in the years to come the trees would reclaim the area.

The clearing itself was shaped very much like a figure eight, or a slightly melted, half built snowman. Neither outer circle of the clearing could be completed without overlapping the other to a great degree. The larger circle approximently held a fifty meter radius. The smaller circle was only a third of that size. The odd shape and composition of the clearing looked as if it was not what nature intended.

The evergreens surrounded most of the larger part of the clearing, while the overgrown underbush threatened to claim parts of the smaller circle. On one side. where the evergreens and underbush met, the taller trees blocked the sun for most of the day, slowly killing the bush. At eht other meeting place the thorny bushs and creepers beat back the trees. The trees grew thinner on this side and the bush thicker, turning the odds in the bush's favor. Almost all theought the underbush the growth was impassible. Those that passed the clearing infact found it quicker to detour around the bush than to attempt to force their way through.

High up in the branches of one of the dying trees where the bush had begun to take over the trees, was a squirrel. The squirrel huffs, while it's tails twitches agitatedly. the squirrel is trying to calculate a jump of about one foot.

A little girl runs beneath the squirrel, forcing it's choice in a moment of panick. The girl looks no older than two. She is dressed in light brown fiberous pants and shirt. Her iris' are so pale blue that they almost meld and are forgotten nto the whites of her eyes. Her pupils are not quiet black, but seem more of a very dark brown. she had just run out from the thickest part of the bush.

On a hidden path her mother follows, calling a name now lost in memory. The girl turns and her black hair whips her face before settling on her shoulders. The women's image is now blurry at the edges, the more detailed features lost in time. She is slightly shorter than adverage height. She had given her daughter her black hair and her own was pulled into a bun at the back and base of her head. She has brown eyes; her figure is slender, and at one time may have been called fine, but now it appears fragile. The clothes she wore were a loose fitting pants and shirt, colored to fit into their current surroundings. They were much more worn now, as they had been taken out of all circumstance that they had been intended for. The girl laughs distracted, and continues playing a game of her own making.

.~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~

Arms stretched. Held far away as possible. Palms splayed forward. The body sways. Energy focused. Pushed toward the palm. Centered in palm. The arm swings. Energy shoots forward. Mile ahead, yells. A sigh. A groan. A hum. All covered in white. Job done, hand drops. Energy collected down arm. Dances down the red. Arm shoots forward. Covers all white with black. Screams. Shouts.

Death echoes.

.~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~ .~

The girl is called again. She continues to ingnore this and runs out into the clearing. The women sighes. Then it is the girls trun to sigh as her name is called again, sharply, with the threat of punishment, so she can not ignore it. Little puffs of dirt rise as the girl turns toward her mother. the women gestures for her to come closer and kneel. The girl moves forward and inch and lowers herself without moving her feet.

A lesson begins. The details are lost in the frequency and multitude of others so similar. This lesson is about herbs. With the end of the lesson the women and girl fade back into the bush. The once impercebtible paths have become overgrown and impassible. Following the paths you would come to the unmemorable shelter in which they took refuge.

Pieces of the little girl's lessons can still be recalled with startling clarity. Most of the lessons were only theory, but most of the lessons were looked upon as a diverson by the girl. They were something for her to truly focus on. However some lessons, like how to pour tea, were given by rote and quickly forgotten for the girl gave little attention to them.

The lessons continue and time passes. The women visibly becomes less vigilent. The strong heat of summer stole the energy with which the women used to maintain her suspicions. The warm long days were luring with their sense of security. The women's face could be sometimes seen cast into a state of wistful hope. during the summer days the girl was allowed to entertain herself in the clearing between her lessons.

The days could be counted by the length of time the sun had been in the sky. The days were long for nearly fifteen hours the sun would be unobstructed in the sky. The presence of light in the sky could be said to start and finish before and after this time, as the sun rose and fell for dawn and dusk. After the dusk had completely come, the nights were a repreive from the heat and mostly cool due to a breeze that would sweep up from under the trees. Few of the nights however the breeze did not blow and the night would retain the heat and mugginess of the day. If one stood in the clearing at the hieght of the day, which occured between one and four int he afternoon, the hear would be so intesnse that within minutes the person's skin would dry out and become cracked.

As the spring turned into summer the wildlife increased as the animals returned from the south and woke up from their long slumber. An additional increase came from the young ones that had been born. Over protective species remained on high alert, snarlling or growlling in the face of danger. This aditional noise relaxed the women fuher, for once she learne to read the animal's sounds she could tell if something was in the forest that was a vistior or a threat.

Water may have been a concern given the intense heat. The women ha found a pit that had been dug, that once was a well. It was now half hidden in the mass of under bush, hidden deeper under a wildly growing throne bush. The stones scatered around the pit implied that it had been a well once rimmed with stones, and prehaps a wooden canopy. The women had immeiately started searching for a source of water when they first arrived at the clearing, and had been flooded with an overwhelming relif that she would be able to provie for the girl. After finding the water source, the women's next task was to create a cover for the pit. This needed to be designed to keep out most bugs and insects, and other debri from falling in. The wooden woven cover would also act as a barrier to prevent the girl from falling in.

If spring was their chance for new life than that summer they lived it.

2010-06-07T22:42:00.000-07:00

Maddness and Mayhem and Oh! Isn't he a well behav... He bit me!

Hi. I did have something deep and meaningful to write. But I lean the book that it was about out. It's a really good book. I like it alot. Alot is coming up underlined in red. This means it is incorrect. Oh. Well. What did they want me to do about it?

I edited my brother's essay on Geishas for him. It could have been done better. In the amount of time he got in done in however, I'm *insert* impressed. And the fact he wrote it and it's gonna be ready before it's due? Wows. This is coming from the guy who didn't really do his work if he didn't-really-hafta-teacher thinks it's not that important-not going to affect grades that badly-guy.

I'm tired and wired. I figured it out though. I feel asleep today. I was tired. A friend was over. I blame stress. No, I actually have a legitimate reason to blame stress. Tomorrow, I need to get myself to the gym and CRD pound and back, ready to work before two. The next day I work, do some stupid meeting call, gym and youth. The next day I sprint to the chiropractor and then to grad. The next I have a seminar, in which we pretty much tempt our dogs to go after other dogs while their a good distance away from us. This goes for the next three days. I don't yet have all the money I need to pay it off, and they are applying pressure, but I'm hoping the paycheck on Thursday will be enough. It should be anyway. That night I'm hanging out with people. The last day of the seminar I have a way up to the seminar, but don't have one back home. My parents will be up at Nanoose Bay celebrating their anniversary. So I'll be stuck with a dog in Victoria.

Then my week starts again. It's slower, and I might actually have a chance to breathe. After the break you may get thoughts that don't consist of "move faster, you're late!" or some variation thereof.

Did I mention the stress?

2010-05-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

Failure, Mixed Reviews, I Am An Optimist, Failure Reversed, and Anticipation

That is my morning so far. This was going to be a facebook status, but I decided the story was too good to past up.

First question, does anyone else write blogs in their head and then forget to actually write them? Or what they wanted to write? Well today is not that day for me. So you get a lovely blog post.

Failure. So I went away for the weekend. That weekend will get it's own blog post if I do put anything about it up here. As it is something completely different. What you don't know about me is that I have two alarm clocks. One is blue and travels around with me as it is battery powered. The other is black, and needs to be plugged in to work. This one stays home. When I came back from my amazing weekend I set my black alarm to go off early. It has a snooze, so I can set it a little early and get the extra snuggling, do I really have to get up yet time. Then the blue one chimes in, and says up NOW! The next morning the black alarm didn't go off. I still wanted my snuggling time. *frowns* Needless to say I fell back asleep. It didn't go off yesterday either. I finally figured out what my little sister did to it, so now I won't sleep half the day away. Good for some people, bad idea with energetic dog. Not that she is inside most of the time. But that's another story.

Mixed reviews. (I blame being sick so much.) I came back and went to sleep Monday with a slight ear ache. Nothing unusual. I tend to get water build up in my ears frequently. So I slept on that side, and most of the time the water will work it's way out and all is well. Most of the time. Tuesday my ear hurt worse. By Tuesday night I could only open my jaw half way before my ear complained of being squished and that pain was going to be the result of my actions. I ended up going to the walk in clinic instead of hitting the gym and the Moms2Moms group. I spent an hour and a half waiting. Then in fifteen minutes I was out. Apparently I managed to contract an outer ear infection. That's all I was told. And to use polysporn drops to treat it. Not how much, how often, or whether or not I'm contagious. I'm assuming not on the last one, if only for the fact that it hurts like crazy to touch my ear. I got told at least it's not an inner ear infection. I was prone to those as a child. NOT fun.

I seriously am an optimist. Don't believe me ask Will. So. I decided that the last couple of days I was neglecting Milly pretty hard core. And I was. So I decided to do something about that. Right now our yard is half short grass, and half waist high grass. This would be due to the fact that some random people took apart our rotten deck. Thus all the garbage (aka things that we had used to use, but now had been ruined due to exposure or us breaking them, but never getting around to actually getting rid of them) got moved across our yard, dividing the two. Yesterday Dad took a bunch to the dump. It looks alot better. I can actually let my dog off leash again without having to worry about rust or nails or other things that she might consider 'interesting'. So for the first time since the fall I had access to our backyard to play fetch with my dog. And we did. Then the dogs that belong the paper lady came, (she was with them too, she talks too much about nothing to have a good conversation) and I was actually able to call Milly away from the fence! Sure she did end up fence fighting a little while later, but still! She actually walked away with me, without me having to hold her! If that isn't a signal that her trust in me is growing I don't know what is.

Failure reversed. For the first time in two and a half weeks I made it out to the gym. Even though I missed the planned time. It is a major accomplishment for me. Especially since it wasn't going as fast as I wanted it to go before I stopped going. Add to that that I was sick and a certain time of monthly cramps...

It is an accomplishment that I got over that mental barrier. Now I need to do it repeatedly. Uggh.

Postive.

Right.

Anticipation. I saw a good friend that I haven't seen in a long time (twice in the spring of '08 and before that in '04). He likes Lord of the Rings as much as I do.

Three guesses about what we talked about last time.

This time apparently Battle Star Galatica and Firefly have much of the same in common. As in if you like on you'll like the other. We shall see about this.

See. I did forget parts of the blog that I had written in my head. Something about a book...

2010-05-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

By the power invested in me,
I pronounce you MONGOOSE!

Hi.

I'm bored.

I'm very, very bored.

I blame the sugar.

It's really not my fault.

So I was reading the book that I got out from the library. It's a dog book. It's about training. In the book she explains how to apply the theories to manipulate people. It should be interesting to see how that pans out.

So I decided to use some of the stuff (I was already aware of this, it's just a really well laid out book that makes you *want* to experiment) out on my dog. Her basic stuff is slipping, as all dogs will, and she needs a brush up. So I started that today. It was fun. She got faster and better quickly. Now two more weeks to make it stick after I put the cue word on and take it out to the world!....

So I'm going to be volunteering with Darcie again this summer. That'll be fun. Jada is a silly dog. I can not focus. I want to play Zelda. I should finish typing up my story. I don't know if I will.

What would the world be like if two plus two equaled seven?

I got pretty shirts. I am wearing one. Laura picked it out. Yay Laura. I have fans too. Pretty fans. Very pretty fans.

I need to learn how to juggle.

2010-05-13T11:40:00.000-07:00

For the randomly (criminally or otherwise) insane.

Hello again.

I was told to update my blog.

So this is an update.

I was so tempted to leave it right there. But then certain people I know might come and do certain things to other certain things that would make other certain people unhappy. Mainly me.

Don't you love the vague? Nope, I don't really either. If you agree good. We're in the same boat.

I don't know if you that I am currently trying to write a story. It needs a title. A good one. A good solid title that is not silly like I like naming my blog posts or journal enteries. (No - not online ones goofs). So, if you have a good idea for a story title nows your chance to name it, I think. I'll probably come up with something better and disregard everything posted here in regards to an actual story title. But I do have some names I need to be filled. The story has two towns, one used to be prosperous and lively, a small rural town catering to farms and trappers and the occasional hermit. Along comes a new town. Current, very modern, lively, big city-esque. Steals most of the customers away from the old town. There's more, and a back story to all this, but for that you'll have to wait to read it, ne? Anyways I need names for these cities/towns-like things. I can't just blatantly call the new town Sodom either. I think I have more tact than that. Oh! I forgot, everyone in the area was opposed to having the new town built as it uprooted many families and the suchlike. And no, it's not written like speaking as this is.

Personally I think I like the old town better. But that's just me.

So.

Anyone know a certain crazy artist who had been taking random words and making pictures from them? Well I said that was easy. Except I can't draw. So I said I'd modify it to a sentance and write a short story about it. I've done it before, they just didn't exactly get put down on paper. Like I think folks will want if they give me sentances. Yes. I think I did want I just did...

*sigh*

Anyways, I was thinking of taking German 10 through SIDES before going to UVic and wasting a bunch of money there. Opinions? Is this good, bad or why in the world would you want to learn that language for?

Other things. I am currently sick. Like coughing from chest sick. I don't get sick like that. EVER. I get sick like head cold, here, then gone sick. Not deep and lingering. Go Away! Gah! For those that care, my Miss Milly is doing much better, her allergies still need medication though. But it's been brought down from three to one pill. Which is good as the pills interfer with her Kidneys screening things properly. So the pills can't be used heavy duty for long periods of time. We've also been walking with other dogs more, next week there's three different dogs! We're also working on new and improved (oxi-moron time) tricks! Fun things. Do *you* know what the doggie version of the moonwalk is? Give us a few more weeks and we'll show you!

Oh gosh, proof the I need to get out more. Yup. Right there.

Wednesday morning I go and help watch a bunch of little kids while there mom's go off and talk. There's this one little kid, his names Elijah. Sweetest thing that you could ever see. I think he's my favorite. I know, *slaps wrist* I really shouldn't pick favorites, but, but, but... do you see him? Gah.

Anyways, I'm off to lurk on your posts now if I can find them.

2009-09-05T22:48:00.000-07:00

Puddles on Desks

I'm really tired. Sorry for not updating alot. I got told tonight that it was ok though. I have nothing really good to say, merely a shout out saying that I am alive, though work may be trying to kill me.

Seriously.

I'm quiting my job in January. End of story. I can't take trying to do another forty hour week there. The employees are nice (except for the jerks that are every where), some of the customers make me laugh- actually some a quiet funny, but these memories are lost in a sea of repetiveness and brain killing boredom as the result of doing meanial tasks over and over and over again, till your quiet good at it while your brain vacates the premiss.

I got asked if I wanted to move out. At this point in time I don't really think that I want to. I mean, I kinda do, but mostly don't. I have reasons. Good reasons in fact.

I'm tired, today was day five of forty hours and third closing in a row. How's that for messing with your sleeping schedual?

Peace to everyone going back to school. Don't forget your anti-stress pills.

2009-08-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

T'was a DARK and STORMY night...

Hey. So I just had this crazy random thought. What if the reason that people went around naming inanimate objects was because they were practicing for a time when they would possibly name someone else? So they go around and name all these things different names- just to see if they like the name. I mean it's not a big deal if your car or your guitar is named something that after a month you can't stand, but it would be huge if it was a child. So in order to not hate the child's name by misnaming it something that becomes annoying people try out names on other things first. Just think about it.

2009-07-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

Sunshine, Lolipops, Rainbows

So last week I had just gotten off work. Silly people made me come in very early and I was tired. Mom was late picking me up and I was wearing nearly full black. This makes for a very hot, tired worker, who goes in front of Subway and sits on the chairs waiting for her ride, as they're the only chairs near. Head down, eyes closed, maybe catch fives minutes of sleep. Maybe. Could try anyway.

Almost there. Startlement. Head up. Boy near. "Here's some water". Heh, not dehydrated, has water in bag. Nice of boy though. Drinks some. Feels bit better.

Boy was kinda cute. Looks very embarrassed. Hmm, Dad waves and winks as they leave store. Dad's idea. Made boy do it. Hate it when parents do things like that. Why can't they do it themselves?

2009-07-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

Welcome back

So sorry it's been a while. Honestly, lately I've been thinking really good blogs while working, or walking my dog, or in the middle of having some good conversations.

This post is not going to include talking about any of those from here on out. *GASP* No the dog doesn't get the spotlight right now. Maybe next time.

So I was thinking. I know alot of people who are good at writting. All after there own fashion of course. Like VCshorty would be very good at stream of consciousness (that's a hard word to spell... can't do it on first or second or third... tries again), and my boat loving friend has an extreme talent in poetry. Another who works more than is good for her, and is in the arts show this weekend... need to remember to try and go to that... is an avid reader who reflects what she reads in the way she writes. None to say she is definately not reading small children books. Another could gets his stuff published.

I got off point. I missed people. One's a cudely bear... and like I said most of my friends can write well. This idea came into my head from a conversation on the bus, and was more fully developed while during too much repetative labour at work. I have a writing challenge. There shall be two catagories, and anyone that is known well to the group may enter. I put that limitation on because if someone in the group writes in then as they are known, we would know what direction they are trying to take their writing, and how much is personality being reflected, and ya, anything else... I did have more to back that up... but I wrote this mentally at work and forgot parts. Right two catagories. One shall be 500 to 1000 words. Don't like it? Think it's too many words? Trying to convey more with less? Second catagory is Drabbles. Exactly 100 words. Not one more, not one less. Once you go over 100 you are no longer eligable for this catagory.

Right I knew I had something else to say. The reason for this all? I wanna try writing again. I haven't written a story since grade 12 english. I think it's time to get old skills out, non?

Anyway, you didn't think that that was all? Nope. Now that we have our catagories established, we shall have subjects. Well yes challenges shall come after, remind me about that please. Colors shall be our subjects. Here it goes.

Yellow- depression
Black- Hope, new life
White- Flith
Red- *chanllenge* may not be about anger, passion (love), or blood
Pink- serious

I had more... I had green and blue, but can no longer remember them. So the story or writing must be about whatever color you chose. The color must be mentioned and can be contected to the topic -Ah! Green's- death- Now to the challenge. Not to use the word that is your topic. So for yellow you can not use the word 'depressed','depression', or such like.

Still can't remember blue. Anyways, I thought it would be a good idea. Maybe make a face book group? Then everyone could see the stories and give feedback, which really is what all this is about.

It was just an idea, and it's been bugging me, haunting me throughtout work if you will.

Shine

2009-04-23T21:28:00.000-07:00

While cutting down trees

Today's moral of the story. Don't let coffee come up your nose.

See it all started with mere minutes to go on my shift today that someone called Rachel in produce. Problem: there are two Rachel's in produce. Both working today. I thought that it was the other Rachel and apparently she thought that it was for her too, but it was my little brother calling saying that once I got off to go to Smitty's.

So I did. Idiot was eating more barbacue sauce than chicken wings so I made a few bets with him, he went through with the first one, but not the second. Eh, then eventually we started taking about sanity, and how he did have some. He was impressed with how many syllabes it had, I told him how many letters and that he was sane. Then he pronouced sanity somewhat like sa-a-ni-nit-ty-ee. Apparently it was really funny, I don't think that's exactly how he said it, but close enough.

The reason that apparently it was really funny is that my mom, the one who we gang up on to see if we can make her spit out her drink so that it doesn't go up her nose, let coffee go up her nose. Now you see, we'd been trying for years, at least a decade, for that to happen. And it finally did happen. With warm coffee, while taking about sanity.

2009-04-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

Bead of water

So I was in the process of realizing something recently. I'm really bad at holding conversations. Especially with new people. Reminds me of someone; namely a fictional character, but meh. So I decided that I wanted to do something about. Problem is I really don't fully know how.

Realized something else as well. I hate feeling vunerable. Stupid little things like the admission above make me feel like that. Which I believes contributes to a lack of conversation. I'm *this* close to taking that down. Gah...

Anyway, today was part one of two of a dog aggression seminar that me and Milly (I know it should be Milly and I, but really? it's a blog) are signed up for.

Today we did nothing that I didn't already know. Mostly we did alot of work with sideholds. A sidehold, is very much like it sounds like, you get your dog to lie down, flip them on their side and pin them there. Do not try that at home, without someone to show you how it's properly done, or fully explain the reasons why you might choose to do this. I'll tell you right now, never, EVER do that as a punishment. Sideholds require a great deal of trust, and using that as a punishment is like emotionally whipping your dog. Not something done in a productive relationship.

It took Milly a full 45 minutes to an hour to settle down. While in a sidehold. That kills legs I might add. When I was first teaching her to trust me while being pinned she headbutted me so hard she made me bite through my lip. That hurt. Alot.

Anyways, after the instructor did her speel (which is similar to Darcie's, just said different, with more emphasis on different things really) I came to a conclusion. I'm probably going to be amazing with dogs if I keep working at it. I don't think I'll ever be able to apply what I've learned with dogs to children. They're actually quiet similar.

I'm going to eat supper now. Drop me a line, and after exams we should get together.

2009-03-23T20:36:00.000-07:00

In the Everyday

So tonight my Dad spent it proving he loved me. Nothing big or flashy, in fact we definately were in his dirty, dusty work van, the blue one that used to be my Mom's.

Maybe I should start at the beginning. Sound like a good idea? So my Dad was driving me to my biweekly apprenticship in Brentwood. Half way there he realizes that he forgot his cellphone, so he asks if he can borrow my watch. Of course I say yes. So before I get out I hand over my watch and go to apprenticing. Lotsa fun tonight, there was a black lab named Mischief that didn't like the sounds from upstairs. Which is understandable, considering that during classes there is Karote going on upstairs. Lotsa banging.

To put this more in perspective, normally on the way back from Brentwood, my Dad takes the only time that it's just the two of us to tease me the whole way back. You know, about silly things that really have no importance. I'm pretty sure that's were Matthew learnt to be so annoying.

Anyway, back to the point. So I was sweeping the floor after class, and my Dad walks in, apparently we've gone late again, but I wouldn't know 'cause I didn't have my watch. So I get in the van and the first thing he does is apologize for loosing my watch. First thought through my head *it's just a watch* closely followed by *how am I supposed to get to class on time now?* which is countered by *I'll just half to sit in the cafeteria and watch the other people in my program.*

So I've concluded that it's just a watch, a good watch, but just a watch. And thus not a big deal. Not at all what my Dad thinks if how he kept going on about being sorry, and how it wasn't alright that he'd lost it.

So he had a job in Brentwood that he had to go and look at, and that took a while. When he got back he asked how much the watch had been worth, and were I got it. I had happened to get it out in Langford on a fluke of a day. Then he promised to go out and get me a new one from where I'd gotten it. He also explained that he'd gone out for supper while waiting for me, and that's when he thinks that the watch had fallen out of his pocket. So I thought, no big deal, I'll phone the resturtaunt tomorrow, and see if they have it. Dad countered saying,"No, I'll go there myself." He then proceeded to say about how we'd get up early tomorrow before I needed to go to school, and go to that resturtaunt for breakfast.

It was all incredably sweet. I mean, I had decided that it was just a watch and that I could get a cheap one somewhere in Sidney till I had time to get a better one. The sweetest thing? He promised to charge the people whose place we were at more, that way they'd pay for the watch. He really didn't need to do that.

Moral of the story? Don't make salad before taking off fur covered clothing.

2009-03-14T13:41:00.000-07:00

The concrete flower

So I was waiting until something epic happened to update this. Nothing that epic has really happened. I managed to finally give two people their Christmas presents though. I got to read a book in return. I've finished said book during the time that I should have been studying for a midterm.

Meh.

Right before my midterm in another class the teacher was all "we have to get through a whole class time of slides in half the time so we can have a disscussion!" Needless to say nobody really talked much, and many people were massaging hands. Made my brain overload so that I had trouble concentrating. I hate it when teachers do that.

Actually something epic did happen! Well, it might not seem epic to you, but that's ok. I was outside with my dog in the backyard this morning, and she was fetching the ball. Then she saw a dog. What normally happens at this juncture is that she goes running up and down the fence growling and sometimes barking. This is the epic part. She didn't. Well she did for all of ten seconds, until she saw her ball and picked it up from where she had dropped it. Then she came when I called her. Even though there was a dog there. And she knew I had no chance of catching her. Put me on top of the world that she finally thinks I'm more important than trying to run off another dog.

2009-03-02T20:22:00.000-08:00

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

"Reality is just a big, ugly monster, and I don't believe in monsters."

So I was thinking, and that does happen alot for those of you thinking otherwise. Anyway. Maybe I kinda wanna start my spycell up again? What say you? All I need now is a day, a place, and oh all the time needed. I'm mostly worried about time.

In everything. Not just this, have you ever noticed, sometimes you're rushing through your day just to catch up on yesterday? I think I was doing that alot. I've decided that I don't care anymore. Yesterday can deal with it's self, I've got tomorrow to look at now.

So I'm pretty much on top of my school work. It feels great. I haven't been this on top of it in a few... many weeks. Meaning I should go to stay on top of it. I just finished this really big essay is what that means. And I don't wanna go through that stress again. Gah!

By the way, the reason that there is so many quotes on the last post is because I was looking for this one quote in paticular. And I couldn't find it. But looking for quotes for this one? I found it. How annoying. This is the quote that you can blame it all on.

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't do." Walter Bagehot

2009-02-23T14:10:00.000-08:00

Why this shouldn't be a post

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” -John Wooden

"There is no greater joy in this life than doing what you have been told you can not do."

So I went to my agility trial, and it was great. We never Q'd but that's ok, because it wasn't a real trial. Milly decided that Hoopers wasn't her thing and that horse excrement was that much more interesting. I can kinda see her point, I mean were's the fun of just running through a bunch of hoops? With the other classes there's jumps, or tunnels, or the contact equipement to some variation. But to just run through hoops? And the fact that we don't get to practice that at all...

Any way. I didn't get any pictures. I got two videos though. Out of four runs. Good times.

“The higher up you go, the more gentle you have to reach down to help other people succeed.” -Rick Castro

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this?” -Abraham Linclon

So there was a new X-man today finally. It's been so busy that until the flashback at the beginning I didn't remember what had just happened. I'm talking about the cartoon just to let you know... some good times. We had sasuages and crackers, and orange juice. I was hungry.

“I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” Churchill

"There are three sides to every story, yours mine and the truth."

Anyway, hoped you enjoyed the quotes... it's really cold and I have to work on a project due tomorrow.

‘“But the plans were on display…”_“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”_“That’s the display department.”_“With a torch.”_“Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”_“So had the stairs.”_“But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”_“Yes…I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sigh on the door saying Beware of the Leopard.”’ - ‘Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy’ by Douglas Adams

2009-02-19T09:18:00.000-08:00

“Some men are Baptists…others Catholics…My father was an Oldsmobile man.” -Ralphie, A Christmas Story

“Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short. But when we have had our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit and our swelter of heat, we say we have had our day.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know... probably too many quotes... but I like them all. And there's more where that came from :)

So I still have my mass amounts of projects to complete, but I've come to a bit of a standstill considering my printer won't work... which means I should be figuring out a way to get it to work, but I don't really want to at the current moment.

This Sunday Milly and I are entered into a Fun Trial. For those who don't know what that is, it's an Agility Trial except when you successfully pass the course you don't get points to a title. To title you must move up through two or three ranks, and at each rank go through three courses successfully. For the type of course you're trying to rank in. Did I mention there's more than one type?...

Anyways, that's what's going on right now, and how I'm spending my Sunday, in a horse barn, surrounded by dogs.

2009-02-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

“Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” -Henry Ford

“Do something everyday that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.” -Mark Twain

Not that they're gonna have anything to do with the following post. Why would I do that?

Did you know that Mark Twain wasn't the authors real name? I don't know what it was, and I'm too lazy to look it up. Mostly cause I am waiting for other things to load. It's been a while now hasn't it? Sad thing is that I still don't have a spot for a title. Depressing, right? Just nod and smile at the retorical questions. There you go. Wait, you weren't smiling. That's better.

I has nothing better to do... or I have so many things that I am avoiding starting one because that means having to start on another, and then to another...

That means work. Which I have to go and do now. The whole point of this post was to say that I'm back. Did I make my point?

2006-12-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

"When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy."

I love that quote. Go see if you can find who originally posted it. If you do know, then don't tell who it is, but you can tell that you know. Very much like bragging, but not. For those of you who are concered of that. Guess what that reminds me of? A few of you should be able to.

Now, one of the reasons that I put off getting a blog is that I was afraid that I would not update it regularly. Now that is coming true. All my fault I know. Except for that small part that is bloggers. I am attributing the lack of updates and lack of comments to the fact that blogger is making it 'you-must-be-a-genius-to-figure-this-out' sort of thing.

So, before you all ask, Christmas around was pretty good. I had some fun. I actually can relax for about the first week or so of this break, before I have the most dreaded thing of all to work on... yes! that would be homework! And this paticular project just happens to be 10% of my grade... ya, I like it even less than anyone out there reading it.

Currently, I just sat around all day and did nothing. Nothing at all. Well, I knitted and watched my sister. But that was it. And it was boring. Really, really boring. Thankfully I think that I have plans for the next few days. I desperately hope so. I would hate for a repeat of today.

I was reading a book, one of the three that I am reading (finally found some good books to read!) which happens to be The diary of Anne Frank. It's intresting. Especially since I don't have to analyze the whole thing bit by bit. I mean it is fun to be all analitical, but sometimes you just need a break.

Basically, that's been all that's gone on for the past little while. So wrapping this up with Happy New Year.

2006-12-06T21:28:00.000-08:00

Stress among other things.

I was going around checking out everyone's blog's, and then the thought occured to me. Maybe, just maybe I need to update mine. Without adding a bunch of quotes to make it longer. I think I might have some stuff to talk about too. You know with my spy cell actually up and running. And this is how it goes...

I was thinking today, that, I just don't have enough time. Which really stinks. And by time, I truly mean, time in day light hours. Why would such a thing be important? Because if it is just me walking my dog I prefer to do it in daylight. And I've been busy alot of the time after school. In which case, she doesn't get walked. Bad, I know. I'm working on that. Homework, and making money usually take up my time right after school. I wanted to change that... so, I'm thinking I'll give up one of my paper routes. Which'll be hardish on me, but I'll live. There are better ways of making money. Actually, I'd like to go into resturant business. NOT cooking, as a waitress. See how that turns out. However, as of now, that is not possible. Dreaming I'm told though is a good thing.

Now, I'm sure you all so desperately want to hear about my spycell, nevermind that most of the people who will read this were there. It's somewhat of becoming a tradition to bake everytime before the cell starts. And eat. Laura's mom makes good lasanga. Yup, though the chocolate chip muffins didn't turn out so well... Matt still wants us to make blueberry ones. Can someone help drill it into his head, that THERE NOT IN SEASON. Meaning, I can't get them. On to the actual cell. I could find what I had previously meant to do, so I ran to Laura's computer grabbed and email that sounded good, and read it, then got everyone's opinion. Then told them about the whole option of having a book study thing. They seemed to like the idea. It's going to be very interesting though... depends where I decide to go on it. And which book I could do.

After that we went, and watched Over the Hedge, after missing the first ten minutes. Better than I thought it would be, but still not the greatest movie ever. Not something I'd want to watch again. However, at the end there was a good quote,

"You know we woulda given it all you, it's what families do.
Really, it woulda been nice to know that in the being.
That's bad communication, also runs in families."

Something to that effect any way. After that, while we were waiting for rides, we listened to a song called 'Alice's Resteraunt'. Except that it barely had anything to do with Alice. Apparently it was used as a protest agaisnt the Vietnam war.

On other things, in English today we started Macbeth. Sounds... intresting. Lindoff gave us about a twenty minute lecture on the book, explaining things, making us take notes. And we started to watch the movie. He's not wasting anytime. Another thing, I would hate to have to play a role as one of the witches. I really, really don't like them.

I've run out of things to say, so goodnight.

2006-11-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

Churchill

A good while ago Werner said to go and look for quotes from Churchill. Nothing, absoultely nothing was happening. So I did. And this is what I found.

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril.

All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all.

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.

I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.

It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

The price of greatness is responsibility.

The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.

To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

One day President Roosevelt told me that he was asking publicly for suggestions about what the war should be called. I said at once 'The Unnecessary War'.

For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.

Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

There are quiet a few very good quotes in there, or so I thought. On other things, mircophones are fun to play with and headaches don't like car rides much.

2006-11-22T21:51:00.000-08:00

An update

Wow. I have really unimaginative titles... meh. Guess what? I nearly forgot about my cell. Yes, it hasn't even been launched yet, and yes I was pretty passionate for it before. And most of those ideas are still around. But they're not fresh anymore. They've gone slightly stale in the month's wait for my Monday to clear up. And the fact that November is NOT a happy month. Couple of people died, couple murdered, bunch o' people depressed, two of those suicidal, Sarah in a car accident... Not a happy month. You could look on the bright side, and after a year of work, dog training is starting to pay off... but that's all that comes to mind at the present moment.

On a lighter note, today was my little sister's birthday. You all have to say 'Happy Birthday' to her now when you see her. She has turned... should I tell you...? I could be that mean. But I won't. Nine is the number that you are looking for. We actually did a very good job. I personally don't put much stock in Birthday's. I guess that's just me though. Now I shall list what she has gotten. I gave her two books, and a Barbie/dog set thing, now she can leave my dog alone. She actually really likes it. Matthew went all out and got her (drum roll) some fish. And a 50 dollar tank. Nice gift. Werner went for small, but really neat. He got her this shell thing, that you can hear stuff in. You can hear different things depending on how close you hold your ear to it. Mom and Dad got her a replacement po-go stick, the last one she had broke, as it was from a garage sale. Fun things. My Aunt also sent her a gift. THAT'S the part that shocked me to an extent. You know those things that come with the pencil crayons, and paints, and markers and everything? She sent one 250 piece one down for Hope. Pretty sweet Birthday deal if you ask me.

Random things, Addy, get Ed and go into business... I had thought I had commented on that but... Laura I need to talk with you before Monday. No I will NOT be there Friday. Didn't get a ticket. And stop worrying, I've only missed all this week so far with a headache that earlier, made thinking hurt. It's receded for the moment though.

Anything else... Why yes! Sarah's Birthday is tomorrow, so go wish the lucky girl Happy Birthday, from what I know, she's out of the hospital. I also have a get out of work free card, so that means, I am not working tomorrow night! So if you want to chill, and my head isn't throwing a tantrum...

And yes still about the quotes. A generous thank you to all who have spared their time and energy to post their contributions. Oh... I also need to talk to Liz. So if you see that girl send her my way. That's all I have to say. Not alot at all in truth...

2006-11-14T18:35:00.000-08:00

More Quotes

"Writers are liars, my dear, surely you know that by now?"
-Neil Gaiman, "Sandman: Dream Country"

An Oreo cookie is only as good as it's filling.

If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat

'I will never let schooling interfere with my education'
-Mark Twain

(On genius and madness...)
'Remarkable how often those two coincide'
Jack Sparrow

"A Letter always seemed to me like Immortality, for is it not the Mind alone, without corporeal friend?"
- Emily Dickinson

"History, Stephen said, is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake."
- James Joyce

"Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains; another, a moonlit beach; a third, a family dinner of pot roast and sweet potatoes during a myrtle-mad August in a Midwestern town. Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines hidden under the weedy mass of years. Hit a tripwire of smell and memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth."
- Diane Ackerman

Minds are like parachutes, they only work when their open

Never interrupt an enemy when he is making a mistake
I haven't failed I have just found 10'000 ways that won't work

"the future is ment for thoes who follow their dreams"

Angels exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them friends

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cant do." Walter bagehot

"How very little can be done under the spirit of fear" florence nightengale

I have more quotes, I just need to type them up...

As you can see I have been digging at quotes again. An update on my life, so far it looks like I have A's in nearly all my classes, which for me is a first. Hard work finally paying off. Further more, I have been trying to put more effort toward my dog, who sadly gets neglected every so once in a while when I have too much homework.

Guess what? It's my little sisters birthday next week! When next week? Exactly a week from today. From me she gets books and a toy. A good combination, don't you think? Mom says that it might snow tonight. You have no idea how much I want it to snow. Lots of snow, two feet of snow, or one foot of snow and a continuous blizzard. That's what I'd like. Seems alittle mean, but I don't want to go to school.

For anyone who wants to check out my new cell, it will be held at Laura's at seven starting on the last Monday in November, because that is when the rest of the Trick's training will be done, and I'll still get my one night off in the week. It is good to take breaks. Even when homework doesn't quiet co operate. Seems it never went to kindergarden. Never learned manners.

Is anyone going this week to go see Sarah? I think I'll aim for going up about once a week... if you are going up this week let me know and I'll catch a ride if it's alright. Ya, outside of school my life doesn't have a lot to it, besides going to see Cars after youth and Flushed Away both surprisingly good movies by the way.

You know this by rote now, I am still collecting quotes, oh, and if you ever want to hang out before about seven in the evening on most nights I am free. Yup, that's all for now.

2006-10-24T16:06:00.000-07:00

Business...

I shall take refuge behind business. And the lack of homework that is circulating between classes right now. That would be why I am writing this, not what I am taking refuge behind, for those who caught that.

That would be the explination to why this blog has remained uninhabitated by me. Just a little stress... you don't exactly jump for joy when your Honors teacher says, write me an essay on why this book is a best seller, use quotes, and don't go over six pages. The six pages may seem like relif for most, but by that he means, be close to six pages, four and half, five, six. No small feat. At the same time your trying to figure out WHAT the intern in the other class is trying to tell you... after he gives you a universty workload... true its due in about a month, but there's still stress. However, you are currently pleasantly surprised by how well you are doing in a class that in not your forte.

Back to what I decided was blog worthy. I may be starting a SPY cell. Yup. I still am waiting to hear back on the places that I might be able to hold it at. I kinda explained to Liz what I want it to look like. She said that is mostly modeled off the SPY cells of old. The ones that are now and forever gone as the leaders got busy or went to college. That surprised me. The basics of what I want it to look like? A small accountibilty group. Max number seven. Limited visitation. To and from. Eventually getting to know each other so well... That sums up my dream right now. I have to go check on the dog. If you find any good quotes I am still collecting. Bye for now.

2006-10-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

Quotes

So I went poking around for some quotes on some peoples profiles, this is what I came up with:

"The drive for survival taught him everything else: Strike first, or be struck. Become the hunter, not the hunted. Hide your weaknesses, so others cannot destroy you."

"Love is not just a feeling, it's a commitment to work for the good of that other person." - Unknown

"Real Life is a nasty, nasty dragon with a migraine and a vendetta against me."

"Reality is a conspiracy against us. I reject your reality and substitute my own.

"Reality is just a big, ugly monster, and I don't believe in monsters."

"Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons... for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup!"

"The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, that provides the difficulties." --Douglas Adams; Life, the Universe, and Everything

"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate!" --Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"It's not pinin', it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace, if you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This is an ex-parrot!" --Monty Python's Flying Circus; Dead Parrot Sketch

"Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box?" --Legolas, The Two Towers

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." --Sarah Williams, An Old Astronomer to His Pupil

"Without him, the world around me changes; the trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers..." --Eponine, Les Miz

"Who is the monster and who is the man? Sing the bells of Notre Dame!" --Clopin, Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame

"Then it appears we've crowned the wrong fool. The only fool I see is you!" --Esmeralda

"As my life has been altered once, it can change again. Build higher walls around me, change ev'ry lock and key. Nothing lasts, nothing holds all of me..." --Belle, Disney's Beauty and the Beast (Broadway)

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players." --William Shakespeare, As You Like It

"If life were easy and without challenge, there would be nothing to live for"

"Well! I’m actually feeling rather good about this. I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually…Ecumenically…Grammatically?" ---Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean

"Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly! It's the honest ones you have to watch out for 'cause you can never predict when they're going to something incredibly...stupid." ---Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean

"The law is reason free from passion" ---Aristotle

"As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death." ---Leonardo da Vinci

"It is easier to stay out than get out." ---Mark Twain

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." --Berthold Auerbach

"There are many things in this world that you can count on, but many more you cannot." --Lemony Snicket

"Fear is not weakness. Giving in to that fear is what makes you weak."

"In books, the main characters can always bite their lips bloody. I can't do that. So I can never be a character in a book, because I can't bite my lips until they bleed."

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt

"Nobody knows what kind of parent they'll make until it's too late." --Garrett Macy, Crossing Jordan

"Burying yourself before you're dead kills you."

"Love is a fire...whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." --Joan Crawford

"If you make money from war, you're scum. If you can't make money from bounty hunting, you're an idiot." --weapons dealer, Porco Rosso

"Don't think outside the box...never get in the stupid box to begin with. Unless you're a cat."

"Why do people like kissing so much? It's just sharing germs!"

"The moral of this story is, never make a deal with an interdimensional demon without a little protection." --Slade, Teen Titans

"Well, not all of us can get around by BUBBLE!" --Elphaba, Wicked (the musical)

"Do Earth boys come with some sort of manual, then?" --Starfire, Teen Titans

"What better way to get to know someone than through matrimony?" --Nigel, Crossing Jordan

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer." --Henry David Thoreau

"Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species." --W. Somerset Morgan

"Attack when your enemy is at his weakest, when he is mired in self-doubt...your victory will be assured." --Sun Tzu

"That's the point of being a hopeless romantic. You're hopeless."

"I am...your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate." --Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"You like pain? Try wearing a corset." --Elizabeth, Pirates of the Caribbean

"(This is) something you wouldn't recognize. It's called love." --Kamajii, Spirited Away

"Sometimes I think being a girl really stinks. Then again, I don't like my options."

"Tasting chemical substances is not a good practice."

"It's hard to be authoritative while wearing flip-flops."

"Love stinks." --J. Geils Band

Random Person: What's the answer?
Cynic: What's the question? -dies-

"There is only one happiness in this life: to love and be loved." --George Sands

"I work two jobs for you. You'll be worth it when you win." --ice skater's dad, Ice Princess

"In my heart, I still believe in miracles. God is the greatest magician of them all."
Erik, from "Phantom" by Susan Kay

Such a little thing really, a kiss...most people don't give it a moment's consideration. They kiss on meeting, they kiss on parting, that simple touching of flesh is taken entirely for granted as a basic human right.
Susan Kay

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank

"It's not how many breaths you take in your life, it's the moments that take your breath away that count."

"None of us can choose where we will love..."
-Erik

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind

"Come to the dark side. They have Medicare, paid holidays, and cookies every Friday!"

"Nothing makes me feel useless like seeing someone younger than me work technology that I can't. Well, that and the government."

"So, hear my latest idea for world domination? I was thinking perhaps a coffee shop that sells Starbucks quality coffee at half the price... still making profit and run Starbucks out of business and then raise the prices back up to create a worldwide monopoly on coffee.(I thought Timmies already covered that...)

"The muffin isn't picky, Timmy, nor is it tastey. But it is powerfull. ALL HAIL THE MUFFIN!" Cosmo, Fairly odd parents

"You'll find more cheer in a graveyard."-Gimi in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

"Veni, veti, veci"(I Came, I saw, I concqured)- Julius Ceasar

"But when things are over and done and Fate has moved on, one should not look back and second guess."

Read as much as you can. Keep writing and then throwing it away until one day you do something that you don't think belongs in the bin.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return." -Moulin Rouge

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." -Rodney Dangerfield

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. That's relativity." -Albert Einstein

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you." -Anonymous

"Death is hereditary." -Anonymous

Agent Smith: "You can’t win, it’s pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you persist?"
Neo: "Because I choose to."

"He's having a stroke-"
"What?"
"-of genius!"

"You know I never keep my oaths...Oaths are made for catching fools!"
--Erik, The Phantom of the Opera

"Who's the more foolish--the fool, or the fool who follows him?"

"You're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."
--Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master

"There is beauty in sadness." ~ Sarah McLachlan

"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have." ~ Hermione Granger

"Nothing is absolute in this world except death and taxes." ~ Mrs. Shackelford

"Anything can happen to anyone at any time and you shouldn't just live through the days, or you lose them. You should do what you can to enjoy every moment." ~ Sarah Brightman

"And look! (shoots monkey) An undead monkey! Top that!"
Capt. Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Carribean 2

"Mutation. It is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward."
Charles Xavier, X-men

"Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightening? ...Same thing as everything else."
Storm, X-men

"You want to shootme, shoot me!"
Logan, X2

"...Why not stay in disguise all the time? You know, look like everyone else?"
"Because we shouldn't have too."
Kurt and Mystique, X2

"Put the knives down!"
"I can't."
Policeman and Logan, X2

"My boy, I have been fighting for mutant rights since before you had claws."
"Did he just call me boy?"
Hank and Logan, X3

"Who's the furball?"
"Hank McCoy, Secretary of Mutant Affairs."
"Right, right. Secretary. Nice suit."
"Henry, this is Logan. He's, uh..."
"Wolverine. I hear you're quite the animal."
"Look who's talking."
Logan, Hank, and Xavier

"Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her."

"No. Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try."
Yoda, Star Wars

"You know,everyone thinks that we found this broken down horse and fixed him. But we didn't. He fixed us. Everyone of us. And I guess in a way, we kinda fixed each other too."
Red Pollerd, Seabiscuit

"Even with the brace, It'll barely hold him. If he gets bumped, or jostled-"
"You want to know what I think?"
"'Course."
"I think that it's better to break a man's leg than his heart."
Howard and Woolf, Seabiscuit

"There's no reason to destroy a life, just 'cause it's banged up a little."
Tom Smith, Seabiscuit

"So, now that my horrific event of terror is over, how about some breakfast?"

"Rule 1 of war is that young men die. Rule 2 is that doctors can't change rule 1"

"TO DANCE"
"No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection, muscle spasm, chiropractor, short careers, eating disorder!"
"FILM!"
"Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations, dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, hollywood and sleaze."
"MUSIC!"
"Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation, rythm, power, feeling, harmony, and heavy competition."
"ANARCHY!"
"Evolution, Justice screaming for solution, forcing changes, risks and danger, your making noise, your making pleas!"
The cast of Rent, Rent

"A poor fool indeed is he who adapts a manner of thinking for others! My manner of thinking stems straight from my considered reflections; it holds with my existence, with the way I am made. It is not in my power to alter it; and were it, I'd not do so." ~ Marquis de Sade, 1783

Writing comes easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank piece of paper until your forehead bleeds. -Douglas Adams

"What is it in a man's soul that makes him believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel? That the sun will rise upon another day? Even when all signs indicate that the darkness will never end? That the finish line is farther away than we think? That we're simply not strong enough? Fast enough? Pure enough? Is it foolish pride? Naivete? Or is it the human spirit simply powerful enough to make the sun rise by sheer will alone?"

Like them? Some are happy, mean, silly, or just plain out make you think. Of course this list has been edited to what I liked. Shifting through profiles takes along time...

2006-10-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

News... of some sort

People said that they wanted to know about my Saturday!! Wow didn't think people really wanted to know... but it's really nice to know.

'Kay, we'll do a quick rundown then. In the morning I got up about tenish, and did homework. My little brother thinks I am a nerd for trying to get it done... but I had alot to do, did that till about elevenish, had lunch, let my dog out to run and helped my dad pick apples.

Anyone want apples? That one tree gave us a little more than a garbage bucket (one of the big ones you take to the curb). I realized once again that I am afraid of hights. Who likes going up a ladder only braced agaisnt some branches that very well might give under your weight? I admire my dad so much for going up there as if he didn't care. Heights and Pony don't mix that well. So after my dad got down the ladder, I went to go and chill with a Sarah. We went and got some slushies... Sarah was surprised that I can't have gum in my mouth and drink a slushy at the same time.

So we got to her house, and like most girls, decided to do our nails. She had a pretty sweet idea, with just putting black nail polish on the very outer part of her nail and calling it a English manicure... opposed to a French manicure. During this we were having a pretty good talk and catching up with each others lives.

So then we realize that if we don't make food soon, we're going to be late... and that we were, by five or ten minutes... didn't matter as no one else was ready to leave yet anyway. So we get up there, and there were some pretty cool bands playing. My favorite one of course was from HistoryMaker. Salvador was intresting, but played much too loud for anyone to really hear you could listen, but you couldn't hear. Then came on Joy Willams. I am pretty close to netural on her... she's alright to listen to. She has a bit of developing to do. She did have this incredably cute accent while singing...

And I already made my comment on the last band. In the middle A Guy came on to give a talk. Pretty much to call unbelivers to become belivers. I felt pretty akward at this point in time. I mean, what are you supposed to do? Go up again? Or stay back and support the ones that decide not to go up. Even if it is the first time? In the end I just stayed in my set. I didn't like the speaker. Truthfully, I zoned out much of what he was saying. Opps...

Then on the ride back we tried to get Addy to dance, but she wouldn't. Don't know why... speaking of Addy, you're in trouble. And as a side note, how'd your soccer game go? If you answer your still in trouble, if you don't your in more trouble.

Then I've had a pretty busy week with stuff... like a yesterday. School, lots of homework, help out at Netural Zone, dog training pretty much right after, and then I got to go babysitting, and I had to do some of my work over there. It was alright, we watched the movie Eight Below. My mom got it.... I love that movie... mainly because it is not cheesy at all.

By the way, I is collecting quotes. So if you have any really cool quotes leave them by or post them on your own blog and let me know to take a look.

2006-10-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Lord of the Dance

I danced in the morning when the world was begun
I danced in the Moon & the Stars & the Sun
I came down from Heaven & I danced on Earth
At Bethlehem I had my birth:

Dance then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He!
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said He!

I danced for the scribe & the pharisee
But they would not dance & they wouldn't follow me
I danced for fishermen, for James & John
They came with me & the Dance went on:

Dance then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He!
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said He!

I danced on the Sabbath & I cured the lame
The holy people said it was a shame!
They whipped & they stripped & they hung me high
And they left me there on a cross to die!

Dance then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He!
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said He!

I danced on a Friday when the sky turned black
It's hard to dance with the devil on your back
They buried my body & they thought I'd gone
But I am the Dance & I still go on!

Dance then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He!
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said He!

They cut me down and I leapt up high
I am the Life that'll never, never die!
I'll live in you if you'll live in Me -
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He!

Dance then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance, said He!
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said He!

These are for you Werner, now please learn the proper lyrics to the chours at least...

Now, for the actual post... I was going to post about Friday night and Saturday... but I dunno if you wanna hear it.

And it's kinda late to go jabbering on about that now.

I got Snow Dogs... for those who don't know it's an awesome movie... poor old Jack...and guess what? I have the first part of the V speach memorized... pronucation might need a bit of work though...

2006-09-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

V's V speech

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate."

"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition."

"The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

And does anyone wish to tell me how to make actual titles?...

2006-09-19T18:44:00.000-07:00

My Week

Okay. Where to start? Let's see... lots to say, let us see if I remeber it all. We'll start... Wednesday. Why? 'Cause that was the first day of leadership training, held by the one and only...(drumroll) Andrew. Which, before that brings me to another topic. That would be one of regrets. Lots of them. Mostly about the things that I could have done while Rob was Youth Pastor, but I was too scared to do it. Most of you don't know, but it took me something like three to four months to go to youth consitantly, and not freak out at the last moment and decide to go home. It took me about a year after that to consitantly go to a SPY cell, without bowing out at the last minute. I did that lots. Because of this skiddish nature I skipped out on growing deeper into the youth group. There are so many 'I could haves' you could make a short story of them. Going to youth at that time however did serve a purpose, I gained confidance. Which probably in the grand scheme of things is a good thing. So now we have this new Youth Pastor, who's still getting used to us as we are getting used to him. This brings me to last Wednesday night were we held the first SPY cell leadersip meeting. My older brother was there with his binder full of stuff from the one that Rob had done last year... The disscussion that ensued was informative. I liked it anyway.

Thursday we got assgined this huge Biology assignment which I had just completed, due Thursday, no I didn't leave it to the last minute, I just finised it the day before, that's all. So then there's friday, nothing big about that, except Youth. Where Andrew callenged us to do some stuff, I forget now, but I have it all down in notes. Notes (Outside of school can be very good things) are going to take 'cause your not going to remeber it all. That's that. One pet peeve about Andrew and Ruben though, they use some really cool quotes, but I never have time to get them all down!! Then Saturday arrives. My parents and my little sister go upisland to celebrate a church opening there. I go hiking with Addy and Laura. No oranges for you two. EVER. Just cause I was acting resonsible does not give you leave not to. Honestly. But besides that it was greats amounts of fun. Exploring... Laura should get the chair with wheels and take it down the hill with dirt. That I would like to see. We also got to see lots of dogs... hi puppies...

Then Sunday comes along, go to church, and after hang out with Liz and talk about an idea I had last year about getting some Christain books in to the school. I need a list more than anything right now. So any suggestions are very welcome. Let me tell you what are the most common though. Velvet Elvis, Skrewtape Letters, God Sumggler...there was another... oh well. Ah, yes, Blue Like Jazz. Any suggestions are welcome. Now we'll move to Monday in which a sckooth group meeting was held at Liz's. Some pretty big dreams came up there. Good stuff. Tuesday I did homework all day mostly, and Wednesday was the last of the SPY cell training. Apparently I get to be an assitant leader to a person I don't recall ever meeting at a time and date not determind on a focus that is still sketcky and up in the air. So when it is up and running come check it out. I also get to attend the Leadership meeting now. That should be fun. Thursday was dog training, and that brings us to today.

Today, I got out of school, helped my Mom out, came home, helped her more, fooled around on the compy, and greeted my Dad once he came back. Did I mention that my Dad is working on the other side of Sooke now? And he is staying there for the weeks that he's working there? Only coming home weekends. So that was kinda big. I hadn't seen my Dad since Sunday, and he finally came home, only to Leave really early Monday morning again. I don't want him to go... So then I went to Youth and found out that a bunch of my friends are going through pretty tough times right now. That made my day all the much brighter *please note sarcasm*. The SPY cells also got annouced. Now I am, to tell the truth a fair bit nervous about my cell. Not of the cell itself, but of o t h e r things. Like invading on my brother. Sounds weird doesn't it? Let me explain. Me and my older brother see each other outside of the house alot. We go to the same school, hang out with the same people and go to the same activites. And now I am going into leadership where he previously could go alone. No one like seeing a sibling that much. I don't want to be viewed as a tag-along either. I want to be able to do the things I want to and still give my brother his space... it's just kinda hard I guess. Ah well.

I have more to say about things you would not guess, but I'll tell them to you later, my hands are a little numb, making typing difficult, and I am tired, making me semi colon happy. Goodnight.

2006-09-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

School and Dentists

Right now I am probably undating this faster than normal people. First of all I don't care second of all can you say 'sleep devrivation'? This sleep devrivation is 'special' too. It's brought on by getting up at three or four in the morning to take pills so you can think straight... and to minimalize pain. Which brings me around to my main point. Today I got to go to the denist. This may or may not seem weird to you, but today was the first day that I have ever been awake and had someone work on my teeth. Two years ago I got put to sleep so that they could work. But today? I learned that I like my denist. Alot. He managed to get the freezing needle in without too much pain on my part. And he told me that whenever I felt pain to put up my right hand and he would stop what he was doing to make it not hurt. And he made it not hurt. 'Cause you see I am different. I am what he calls his 'one in a million' case. That would be because they can't use the usual type of freezing on me. Why? Because of my heart. It's also very special. That's for later though. So through about an hour I got to have two freezing needles stuck into my gums. Well, techniaclly three... one to make sure that the pain didn't returned too soon... I am pretty sure that stuff also puts me to sleep. Honestly. As soon as I got home from that I slept for three hours, dead to the world. And my little sister was being quiet loud too. I found that out after I woke up. Now the question you've all been waiting for... Why did she have to go to the denist? Well, apparently it wasn't just an abbsess. There was another tooth right beside that was on its way for abbsess-ing. The one that was abbsess-ing was the one creating all the pain. The one that had the abbsess was the one that helped cause all the swelling. Yes lots of swelling. You wouldn't see it though. It was so swollen under my lip that I couldn't lift it up. Even with my fingers I had lots of trouble lifting my lip up. That's how bad it was. You know you're special when your denist says 'I haven't seen one of these in about five years'.

To answer the question, yes that's why I am not at youth. My eyes are twitching, telling me to go back to sleep. That's what my other topic for this blog was... school; more specifically, teachers and classes. My classes go, Math with Mr.Alderson (apparently he's not the best math teacher in the world... and math comes very hard for me... so anyone, help? I already having trouble.) Then Biology with Mr. Hilton (what's funny is so far I have not had another science teacher since I came to Parkland) then English Honors with Mr. Lindoff (last semseter he's teaching!!) and finally Foods with Mrs. Mazzio... dunno how to spell her name, and she doesn't get the honor of having her name properly spelt. I don't like her. At all. She's loud... and her teaching style doesn't fit what you need for a foods class. Luckly she isn't here for the whole semseter. She's only here 'till about the middle of October. Thankfully. You see what's happening is Mrs. Laws (better known as Miss. Rush) is soon going on maturnity leave. And Mrs. Maze is retireing. So our food teacher is really a consuiller, filling in for the food teacher. She's already really botching it up. If I don't like the perment Foods teacher maybe I'll drop the course... maybe not. Unfortunately, I have the loud mouth teacher next semseter too. So if I drop Foods now I'll have to deal with her, if I stay I can drop that next semseter. I have her in Family Management, which is a shame, cause I was looking forward to that class. Ack, oh well. I am really happy with Biology and English though... not so much with Math. Never with math. Ever. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to take it, but this is more my older brother's field. NOT mine. I'll take the books... I LIKE books... just not books on Math, please.

2006-09-05T21:40:00.001-07:00

Ouch moved to less ouch + school.

You know how I wrote about the absess in my last post? Well, the good thing is that it doesn't hurt so much any more. The bad thing is it still affects me trying to eat. It still hurts a bit to eat, and when something is out of wack with your body, it likes to try and correct it before taking care of your other needs. Or, at least, that's what I've found. Example, you're so tired you don't feel like eating. Maybe that's just me.

After a pretty fun time with Alyssa at the waterslides and various stores, I came home for a while and did some training with my dog and my dad. Sounds kinda funny, doesn't it? To start from the beginning, when we first got my dog, she didn't really like my older brother and freaked out at my dad. The reason she freaked out at my dad? Well, for one, he is an older guy, and at the time she didn't like them either. Seems now, she's fine with my dad, but hates my dad's hat. Or when my dad wears his hat. Especailly if my dad is wearing his hat and my dog is between me and my dad, or my dad trys to hug me. So we did a small bit of work on that, I finished packing 'cause I was going to be going on a sleepover, over at Ad's house later that night. I had forgotten that I had promised to meet my mom over at DQ for supper though... and didn't end up calling her until about six... I was supposed to have met her at four... but she didn't seem to angry with me. Which suprised me. In a very good way. To try and make up for it I apologized a seemily billion times... and she wasn't mad that I was that sorry either. At some point I am pretty sure I got pretty annoying. So I get to Ad's house and we have some good times... with a soccer ball... and not so much with a baseball bat, and exploring. Guess what Ad? I found two cd's of the Crazy Frog at WalMart when we were doing more last minute shopping today.

We had also done some yesterday... and that sums up my yesterday pretty much. Yesterday was also the day that I figured out that my mouth didn't hurt so much anymore. By the way, the anibotics that the denist gave me has been moving the infection downward, mainly so that they can operate on it. This leaves me with no more swelling (as slight as it was) on my face, but now leaves me a fat upper lip. I don't care if you can't see it, I can certaintly feel it. I also can't move the top left upper side of my lip now. Because of infection. So smiling is lopsided... and I can't whistle that good to my dog either.

Yesterday we also went to the Christain Book and Music store. My mom had wanted to get a cd of music that she liked, and I was looking at the books. Found one that I have wanted since HistoryMaker and one that I have heard alot about, and decided that is might be worth getting. The first book is called, Every Young Women's Battle, and the second is The Screwtape Letters. We also got the conterpart for my brother's, Every Young Man's Battle. I started reading EYWB and am almost done Screwtape Letters, also am in the middle of a book my older brother got me for my B-day, and have three to read that Ad said that I should. Yay for books!

Today at WalMart while browing around, I found what I think is a pretty cool game. Yes it does have something to do with horses... it was on sale and I ask my mom if she would get it for me and I would pay her back, because I didn't have any money on me as we went up right after getting out of school. Talking of school... Couldn't they have taken ten minutes to do what they did today, tomorrow? They're already going to make us have tag every morning this week... I could have slept in! I know some people who didn't even show... Something really weird, today in tag a guy was mooning all the girls to show off a new tattoo... Not something I need to see first thing in the morning.

Last year at the end of the year, Liz was taking suggestions on how we could influance our school in the coming year... I think, if not that, something along those lines. I suggested getting some books and getting them into the library. Mainly 'cause at that time my older brother was reading some intresting things, and I thought that maybe they'd allow it in as a refreance book. They have a Bible, why not more literature? It doesn't even have to be all theory stuff, just things that don't revolve around the lead female character not wearing enough and being 'sensual'.

That's pretty much all for now... I don't wanna get up tomorrow morning... who wants to wake up to the sweet smell of math textbook?

2006-09-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

Now, where to start?

You know how I said before that I had nothing to do? And you also know that saying, 'When it rains, it pours'. Well, now lots is going on. Originally the reason I decided not to go to camp this year was to help Ado pack up and move over here. For those who don't know, she's coming over here for a while, so that she and her brothers can attend public schools. Also so that they can knock down they're old house and bulid a new one in it's stead. Not exactly where it was... for very good reasons.

My mouth after my brother's started bugging him, seemed to decide that it was time to join in. So today after sending them off to camp we got to go to the denist. Turns out I got a er... I knew the name... I knew it!! How about I tell you what I meant and you fill in the blank. It's a pocket of liquid that is putting pressure on one of the roots of my teeth. This is making it hard to eat, even when I am medicated. That's part of the reason that my mom took me in the first place, she got concered that I wasn't eating enough... or at least not as much as I usually do. I also couldn't sleep very well. Apparently the spirit I show in things is also lacking. That would be directly from having to put up with pain 24/7 since Tuesday night. She didn't know about it until Wednesday evening, though.

Since Ado's family had mostly moved over here, and I didn't have that much to help with anymore, me and Ado decided that we would have a sleep over. Especially since she wasn't allowed to go to the camp out. So now I have that to look forward too. To jump around slightly, in my previous post I told of the dinner that my parents wished for my family to attend, they have another one on Sunday, but that is not what I am talking about. The previous dinner acutally turned out pretty good. They had a dog, and were trying to teach it to rollover and didn't quite know how, so I helped them get started. Also the fact that I knew one of the ladies' daughters helped out a bit.

Jumping back to present, the next thing that they wish that we attend is Sunday afternoon at two. Directly after my brothers come back home. I remember what I was trying to say earlier, or rather, I asked my mom and she told me. It's an absess. Dunno if that's the way you spell it... but oh well. More jumping, tomorrow I go with Alyssa to the waterslides. I am so excited about that. I imagine that it would be more fun if my mouth wasn't bugging me, so I'll be careful to take the antibotic, just for you Alyssa.

Jumping once again, the baby shower for Issaih was so much fun. Sarah should host more baby showers. I do kinda feel sorry for the guys though. Some of them really wanted to come. Nothing you can to do to change the past... I am pretty sure that's all I have right now... I had some good thoughts earlier, but I forgot. Again. I could tell you about how my older brother got me a book for my birthday, and after he got realized that it was second in the series, so later on went and got me the first one... but I dunno if you wanna hear about that.

So this is me saying, good night!

2006-08-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

All alone, with nothing to do.

Apparently still no one yet know of my blog... guess that's kinda my fault, but oh well. I still don't have alot to write yet. Nothing much of intrest has happened. I guess for those looking for a good laugh I'd refer you to http://www.phantomandv.piczo.com/ It's good for laughs. The two main characters are Phantom of the Opera and V for Vendetta. Aka Phantom and V.

Tonight's gonna be busy... and tomorrow night as well. 'Cause tonight my parents want me to go with them to a dinner thing at my Mom's 'bosses' house. (She's not really her 'boss' more as co-worker' but Mom still gets paid by her so...) After that is the baby shower for Issaih, which reminds me... I still gotta wrap his present. I still have to take a shower before all that happens. And tomorrow night, we have barracades to set up for the last Sidney summer market, I can only make it there for set up. Why you ask? Thats what makes tomorrow night busy, we take my dog up to training, so she doesn't try jumping the fence again and attacking other dogs... Ya, lots of fun. Come over and see her sometime, she loves meeting new people and playing.

That's all that's really going on right nowish... by the way, if you do keep reading this blog, you'd better not mind all the dot, dot, dots... 'cause I can tell you now, there's going to be lots. After tonight people should have read this... why? 'Cause I'll have told them about it. Of course. Unless someone decides to read my profile before that and finds that yes I do indeed have a blog up. That could be funny. Yes, I know, only in my world. To bad you couldn't join me.

2006-08-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

I figured it out, I figured it out...

I figured it out!! Finally! I started posting this once before, but my compy deicided that it was a good time to restart itself. So as I was saying, I figured it out in a time that nothing is going on for me. At all. So I thought I'd post this to let people know that things will be coming in the future... yup.