Refracting Reflections

Hello.

This is a post from some one whom, you may, or may not, personally know. Why now, if you did not know who I am, would you be reading this? To what point do you come through here and decide that this is what you want to read? How did you find this? The first time. How did you find this?

Can you even remember?

Do you want to even try?

Society today has us so focused on the new, on the dazzling. Splendor is shoved in our faces, 'til we no longer see it, and the magnifience of the world and it's accompaniment is lost on our souls. Do you even know how to walk a path that is not made of gravel? Make cookies, and cakes, and dips, and meatloaf and other such things? From Scratch? Will you ever dare try? Pre-made. Pre-cooked. Pre-packaged. Pre-thought. Every action and reaction that you make is held and measured. Is it like the factory made things? No? Well no good then. It was only her first try? Well maybe she better stop, and just buy it like the rest. She wants to learn? Take a course, study some books. Actually talk to people with experience? The person you approach will be astonished. Astounded.

Think for yourself?

Prehaps the greatest sin of all from society's point of view.

Why do we conform?

Disappointment.

Fear of disappointment. Of whom? My brother posted a quote recently, I can't remember how it goes, but it's a good one. You should check it out.

Here we go 'round the Prickly Pear, Prickly Pear, Prickly Pear...

What is your passion?

Why?

To be passionate about something, what must you be? What must you feel? The dictionary defines passionate as;

1. having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling.

2. easily aroused to or influenced by sexual desire; ardently sensual.

3. expressing, showing, or marked by intense or strong feeling; emotional: passionate language.

4. intense or vehement, as emotions or feelings: passionate grief.

5.easily moved to anger; quick-tempered; irascible.

I am only speaking of one of these meanings, so let us take a closer look.

Having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling.

Everyone has something, an activity, an object, an event that for them, symbolizes they're life. For the student it is school, for the parent, it is their child(ren).\

But are you I passionate about what you allow to symbolize your life? Every time someone mentions the label, do you feel overcome with any sense of emotion? Anger, hatred, happiness, joy? Contempt, contentment?

Do we know how? Do you know how? To allow your emotions free reign willingly to be able to feel. Freely. Can you? Do we, as a society know how to be, passionate? To feel intense emotions to the things that we see and know.

BUT!

Ah... it's so much easier though to hold them. To use all restraint. To smile, no matter what. To float through life, never caring about what is going on. Because caring means feeling some sort of emotion. And emotions are not truly, at their base, controllable. So we don't. Care. We block ourselves off so much and so many times that we forget.

How to feel.

Deeply, how to feel deeply.

Do you know how to feel passionate. What it is to be? In that moment, with everything we have to feel so that nothing of which we know of ourselves is left out of the equation? The easiest to know it grief.

Why? Why is it bad to feel? Feeling is connected to thinking you see. If you do not care, you will not think upon it.

It will go by unnoticed. Unmarked.

Why? Why did it get this way? Why is it "bad" to become emotional?

I want to live. Life. Anyone who has done anything worth knowing about was passionate about what they were doing. I want to know what I am doing, and know what I am doing is good, not because it is 'good' in itself, but because I have given everything I am to doing it.

That I think is a better definition of passionate. For life.

I Started Writing Three Other Posts, But They Didn't Make the Cut

So I know I'm a bit late, but I figure it's ok because you see, the holiday season is very busy. It gets worse with sickness. But enough about that. I have decided a chosen what my resolutions are for the year.

I know.

I already said I was late. I told you already. I still found the time to think about it though if you think about it. That has to count for something.

My Resolutions.

#1. My first and foremost one would have to deal with my dog. I haven't taken care of her like I should have these last few weeks. All excuses aside. It hasn't happened. But she still greets me the same, and still is so willing to do what I ask. She's still willing to try.

So I vow to try harder. I really want to find something to do with her again. We did agility, we did aggression courses. Now... We can't go back to agility. And I've hit a dead wall when it comes to other dogs. So perhaps we'll go for that? Or formal obedience? Rally-O? Tracking?

I'll find something. And make it fit, and work. And work well.

#2. Some of you are surprised this is only second. Well, let me explain it like this. Living beats out non-living things. Hands down. This resolution in German. To finish the German 10 Course or to gain competency from some other forum. Short and sweet. Wish it was in practice too.

#3. I'm attempting the read 100 books in a year challenge. Or alternatively, read less on the internet and more in real life.

#4. To step up and try harder to work, well, willing at my job. Even if it's not where I want to be at. Chin up and good attitude and all that jazz.

#5. To reconnect. I might know you, but I still just see you on the street, and thus don't know you. Who you are. Where you are going. What makes you, you.

These last few aren't resolutions. More like goals to get done, sometime. On the horizon. If they stay there long enough they may become resolutions next year. Perhaps. Perhaps not. Most should be done anyways. 1) Get my N, 2) Finish my quilt, 3) Make it through my Bible, and 4) Finish the knitting.

Last year's resolution was to attempt to get back into shape. As you can see it's an ongoing thing. It's not so much a resolution now though, as it is a part of my life.

What are your resolutions/goals for the New Year?